“So? Are you coming?” Alyssa asked again for the millionth time.
I’d been back in the house for about ten minutes, returning furiously after my fight with Neil. I stationed myself on the couch in the living room, trying in vain to find something to watch on TV.
“Why are you so mad?” Logan asked, swinging his leg back and forth over the arm of the chair he was sprawled in. I looked first at him and then at his girlfriend and gave them both a huff. I didn’t want to admit that the cause of my bad mood was just a few yards away in the pool house, taking one of his numerous showers.
Neil wanted me to use him, did he? Well, what I really wanted to do was burst into that shower, slam him up against the cold tiles, and kiss him. I wanted to touch every part of him, trace his every natural relief with my tongue, and show him that I, too, could act like Jennifer. I could have taken pleasure from him and his body without feelings.
I could have, but, of course, I never would have.
“Your brother!” I snapped at Logan, which only made him snicker at me.
“It’s not his day today. Whatever he said or did to you, try to be understanding,” he answered, turning serious again.
“What are you talking about? Neil is always out of his head, and he always treats her like shit. Stop defending him and try to be impartial for once,” Alyssa cut in, scolding Logan. He turned his attention to her, giving her a sharp look. Alyssa had crossed the line. Everyone knew, after all, that Logan didn’t allow people to talk about Neil like that.
Alyssa must have sensed that because she drew her knees up tight against her chest. She curled into herself next to me on the couch, looking timid in the face of her boyfriend’s reaction.
“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to be tactless,” she murmured immediately, trying to disperse the tension that had arisen between them. I looked between the two of them and decided to intervene. I never wanted them to get into a fight because of me, and I was the one, after all, who’d brought up Neil.
“Weren’t you two supposed to go out?” I cleared my throat and turned off the TV. There was nothing on anyway.
“Are you coming with us?” Logan asked in a placid tone, turning his attention to me. I was glad he was calm again.
“I don’t know.” All at once I was unsure again about what to do. Just ten minutes before, I had convinced myself that I was going to turn down their invitation, and now I wanted to go out. I wanted to distract myself and, more than anything else, get away from Neil. Staying in the house with him so close by wouldn’t have been appropriate. I felt too vulnerable, and my mood swung too violently whenever he lavished his attention on me. It didn’t matter whether it was to actually talk to me or just to bother me.
“Oh, come on. Come out with us. Please.” Alyssa batted her eyes sweetly at me, and I smiled. At the same time, I heard the sound of a key turning in a lock. The front door opened, and Neil’s now unmistakable footsteps echoed in the space around us. Alyssa fell silent, and I turned to watch him as he let the door fall shut with a thud.
Immediately his scent overwhelmed my nose.
How much bath gel did he use?
He smelled so good.
Additionally, his hair was surprisingly neat, with the longer quiff arranged in an orderly fashion, though still casually enough that it gave him an impetuous look.
He was beautiful, like he always was.
He was dressed all in black, from his tight jeans to his hoodie, while his leather jacket (undoubtedly from some expensive brand) had fiery-red trim along the sleeves and zippers. That was another small characteristic of Neil’s: He always dressed simply and casually. He didn’t need to look ostentatious to get women to notice him.
His body had a carnal impact on a woman.
“Finally, you emerge from hibernation,” Logan teased, giving him a wolf whistle. Neil paused for a moment to glance at him. It was the first time he’d deigned to pay attention to anyone in the room. Then, his gaze shifted to include the rest of the living room, and he cast an uninterested glance at Alyssa, ignoring me completely.
Dick.
I knew that he saw me. I mean, I was right there.
Either way, Mr. Disaster chose not to answer his brother and moved toward the kitchen island instead. He circled it casually and opened the refrigerator to retrieve a container of pineapple juice. As he lifted it to his lips, I saw him look at me. But I was determined to reflect his own indifference, so I turned to Alyssa in a fit of pique and continued talking to her.
“What were you saying?” I asked, pretending to be interested in our conversation. “Oh, yeah. The party. I think I will go. I really need to get out for a little bit.” I looked at her and Logan, who had started frowning, wondering what had made me suddenly change my mind. I gave him a smug smile and kept talking. “Will there be hot guys there at least? I’d like to…” I tapped my index finger on my chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “Blow off some steam,” I concluded firmly, trying my best to sound convincing. I knew Neil was listening to our conversation, and I’d decided to get a few things off my chest. Far too much had built up there.
“Wow.” Alyssa nudged me with her elbow, grinning. “And how do you intend to blow that steam off?” she asked with a wink, and I hoped I wasn’t blushing.
“What does one usually do at a party with hot guys? I am single, after all…” I shrugged one shoulder, flashing a mischievous grin as I tried to look confident.
In reality, I didn’t even have the guts to turn and look at Neil for any reaction or sign that I’d achieved my goal of getting under his skin.
“So you’re trying to get laid?” Logan arched a surprised eyebrow.
