“Neil, stop!”
Someone tried to grab me by the shoulders, but I elbowed them away roughly.
The inevitable had happened: I had lost my self-control, my reason, and my common sense. Everything.
My knuckles began to turn a wet, vivid red, but I still didn’t stop. I couldn’t control the anger. It was stronger than I was.
I raised myself off Xavier’s prone, dazed body and started attacking his stomach with a series of powerful kicks.
My forehead was slick with sweat, my jaw so tight it hurt, and my body was boiling all over. My sweater was completely crumpled, but I didn’t care about any of that.
In that moment, all I could feel was the madness erupting out of me as though from a volcano. I was tumbling into a spiral of destruction, and I could feel the darkness flowing. It poured over everything around me, covering the whole world in black, in a darkness with nothing blooming, nothing colorful, and nothing peaceful.
I felt a hot vitality flow uncontrollably through me, making me relish this. It was a feeling that was stronger than any orgasm and more exhilarating than any fuck.
It felt so satisfying, and I didn’t care about the consequences. I didn’t care about anything except finally unleashing the untamed creature inside me, the insanity of the moment.
I reveled like a true monster in the sight of Xavier’s swollen face painted purple.
And I remembered a father’s violence toward a child and a woman’s abuse of a child.
These were the things that had signaled the descent of Satan into my soul.
“Not laughing now, are you?” I was drained and weak, and Xavier took advantage of the brief respite to fight back. From his place on the ground,he reached out and grabbed my ankle, pulling me down. He hopped on top of me smoothly, holding me down with the weight of his body, and started punching me in the face. The first blow landed on my jaw, the next on my brow bone. I managed to put up a defense, hitting him back and shoving him aside so I could get back on my feet.
I’d lost count of how many punches I’d given him and how many I’d taken in turn, but at some point during the violent, interminable brawl, I managed to grab his phone and throw it on the ground, smashing it to pieces.
Being photographed or filmed unleashed my fury.
Xavier stumbled and coughed, trying to speak, though he was out of breath.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, man? You’re acting like a fucking psycho!” He spat blood at my shoes, and I tried to lunge for him again, but Luke grabbed my arms to stop me.
“Don’t fuck with me, Xavier, or I’ll fucking kill you!” I screamed, out of my mind with my hand clutching my stomach. He’d probably hit me there, too, and I was finally starting to feel the pain.
“I’m not afraid of you,” he shot back with a malicious grin, wiping the blood from his lips with the back of his hand.
I’d messed him up for sure, but I was in no better shape.
He’d gotten his licks in.
Suddenly, the world began to spin around me, and pain spread from my ribs up to my head. But I was still charged up, still furious.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?” I yelled, feeling the words scrape against my throat. I thrashed like a lunatic as Luke tried to pull me away from Xavier again. “Let me go!” Finally, he pushed me away while I tripped over my own feet.
“What the hell? Are you insane?” Logan ran toward us, tossing his messenger bag and taking me by the arm, yanking me away from Luke.
I was breathing heavily, and my eyes were wild with fury.
“What do you want? Fuck off!” I spit invectives at my brother as well because I was completely out of my mind by that point. Out of control. Out of bounds.
Out of my head.
“Piss off!” I advanced on Xavier again, but Logan got in my way, pushing me backwards. He was tall and strong but not as strong as me.
“You’re not going anywhere. Calm down!” he cried, afraid and worried for me. I could see his fear for me in his wide eyes and alarmed face.
Xavier muttered something then, but Luke told him off, telling him to let it go.
