I decided who I fucked, when, and where.
It had always been like that, no matter what my girl of the moment wanted or offered.
So I didn’t say anything to Jennifer and moved closer to her instead, gently brushing against her lips. I needed to find a way to shake her off without arousing her suspicion. I couldn’t tell her I was thinking about picking back up with the therapy that I’d stopped three years ago, or that I’d actually been diagnosed with a sexual disorder. Above all else, I couldn’t tell her that it was all caused by my intense personal psychological issues.
Instead, I gave her a sensual smile and caught her off guard with a kiss.
The shape of my lips mingled with hers, and my tongue slid into her mouth like it had been waiting for me. Jennifer was a master at giving me pleasure, but even her abilities couldn’t remotely compare to the way everything in me vibrated when I got one of my Babygirl’s clumsy kisses.
Selene kissed timidly—the touch of her lips was as delicate as a caress. She closed her eyes as she did it and imagined some nonexistent true love. Jennifer, on the other hand, laid claim to me like a seasoned whore. With one hand rubbing between my legs and the other clawing at my back, she dug her nails into my skin.
Her abundance of passion thrilled my body but not my mind. We’d always had sexual chemistry but nothing else. A kiss from Jennifer could awaken my libido. A kiss from Selene awakened my need to taste her soul as well.
I felt at ease with Jennifer, though, because there was no pressure to meetany expectations. She had a jealous streak, but she also knew what she could and could not expect from me.
Selene was a different story. A kiss from her was a sweet, meaningful gesture. A precious treasure and a sneak peek at the theoretical love story she never should have imagined with me.
“Thanks, Miller. I can see you’re really taking my shitty situation to heart,” Luke grumbled, interrupting my moment of pleasure.
I pulled back from Jennifer and licked my lower lip before stretching my arm out along the back of the bench comfortably. I had achieved my goal of distracting Jennifer, who clearly didn’t even remember what she’d been talking about before that kiss. Now I leveled a glacial stare at Luke because I hated to be interrupted during certain moments. It was irritating because even if a basic rubbing of tongues together wasn’t enough to get me hard, it was still plenty capable of awakening my sexual appetite.
“If you want to fuck her right now, feel free. I’ll just be over here watching you and jerking it like a madman,” Xavier cut in, miming the action with one hand. I shifted my gaze to take in his delighted expression and gave him a serious look.
I didn’t think there was anything funny about what he’d said, especially not while I was in that period of forced abstinence.
“How was your beach weekend?” Xavier asked, switching to a different topic when he realized I was about to lose my shit. Unfortunately, he’d chosen a topic I didn’t want to talk about. I didn’t want to think about how tragic my encounter with Selene had felt.
“I was only there for a day. For Matt’s birthday,” I answered. All of a sudden, Jennifer’s proximity and her leg thrown over my thigh bothered me, so I pushed her off. My sudden tension did not go unnoticed.
“Was the baby doll there, too?” Xavier asked, referring to Selene.
I saw Luke prick up his ears, waiting to know more. I stared at him like I could read his mind. He was definitely remembering that kiss he’d had with Selene and I knew exactly what he was feeling: restlessness.
It was the same thing I’d felt when I kissed her for the first time in the pool.
Selene was so far removed from our world, so different from the womenwe usually saw, that she provoked curiosity. That’s why I was sure Luke was hiding a little interest in her.
“Yeah, the girl was there too,” I said flatly with an indifferent shrug. Jennifer turned to look at me, scrutinizing my face, but I kept it blank as I balanced one ankle on the opposite knee.
“And? Did you get it wet?” Xavier gave his pants a vulgar rub and grinned at me. “I still think about her cute little ass, you know what I mean?” he continued lightly, and it took every bit of self-control I had not to close his mouth with one of my fists. I bit my lip until I tasted blood, trying to keep my face impassive.
“Nah, I’m not into her anymore. Don’t know what the fuck I was thinking, but whatever it was, I’m over it now.”
Jennifer continued to study my reaction. I was pretty good at putting on a show, but she was very jealous of Selene. It would be hard to convince her of my indifference to Babygirl.
“Hey, whatcha talking about?” Alexia straightened her blue jacket, which matched her hair, and looked expectantly at us, waiting for someone to answer her. She’d just appeared out of nowhere to butt into this uncomfortable conversation, and, for the first time, I found myself irritated by her presence.
“About Neil’s trip to the beach for Dr. Stepdaddy’s birthday and how he failed to get his dick wet in the holy virgin of the golden ass.” Xavier offered an impeccable summary, and Alexia huffed in irritation.
“Why do you call her that?”
Considering everything Xavier had just said to her, all she could focus on was those last few words because she was territorial over him, even though the dumbass had never noticed. Or maybe he just pretended he didn’t. I wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to worry because Xavier wasn’t going to step foot near Selene while there was still air in my lungs, but I forced myself to keep quiet.
“Because she gives off the vibe: typical little princess who has barely ever been with a man.” Xavier looked to me for confirmation, but I wasn’t about to tell him anything about what I had or hadn’t done with Selene. I already regretted saying too much outside Blanco when herex confronted me in front of everyone. I wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice.
“What about a blow job? Did she at least give you one of those?” Xavier just kept needling me, and I was having a really hard time not reacting.
I continued to stare him down gravely, and Luke elbowed him, trying to get Xavier to stop.
