She also dreamed of a fairy tale and lived in her own world when it came to love. It was all in her head, and she projected all her romantic fantasies onto me, ignoring our reality. A reality that didn’t have a goddamned thing to do with love.
I used sex to quit thinking, to relieve pressure, and to deaden my problems. The last thing I wanted was a partner who was looking for some affectionate, emotional exchange. I was firmly against any giving or receiving of“cuddles” or “pillow talk” because that could only ever make my issues even harder to manage.
I was firmly convinced that men and women were fundamentally different and that understanding or accepting each other was never going to be easy.
“You say that because you believe your body is all you have to give,” Babygirl volleyed back, and I had to smile.
What could she possibly know about life?
All at once, I let go of her arm and sat down in the sand. I leaned back on my hands and made myself comfortable. Puzzled, Selene looked over at me and folded her arms over her chest, clearly unsure of what to do next.
“What are you doing?” she asked in a pouty grumble.
“I’m sitting down, can’t you tell?” I teased her cheerfully, and she threw a bit of hair over her shoulder in a manner that was supremely yet unintentionally sensual.
“I’m waiting for you to give me your grand life lessons. How many boyfriends have you had?” I sneered at her, and Selene finally realized that I’d stepped into the role she hated the most, that of the arrogant asshole.
It also occurred to me that I’d never asked her that question before because I’d always refused to have a conversation with her. My preferred method of communication with Selene had always involved our naked bodies and a thoroughly messed-up bed, so this urge I had to open a dialogue with her was new to me as well.
Now it felt like all I wanted to do was hear her delicate voice humming around me. I prepared myself to laugh when she told me that the only man—or rather, boy—she’d been with was Jared, but…
“Three,” she said, and my shit-eating grin evaporated, replaced by a flash of surprise.
What did she say?
“Three?” I repeated skeptically.
Where was that number coming from? Maybe she’d been with someone while we were apart? Maybe someone other than Jared. I never would have asked her—I preferred to investigate using my own methods.
“Yup.” She sat down next to me, though not too close. She tucked herknees up against her chest and propped her elbows up on them, curving her spine.
“And when did you become acquainted with these three men? Tell me about it.” I got the strange feeling that she was lying to me. Or, more likely, that she’d interpreted my question in a different way.
She took her time before answering, sighing with a serious look on her face.
“My first boyfriend was Alain. He gave me a very respectful kiss behind the school when I was about fourteen.” She began her story, and I listened, resting my weight on my elbows. For once, it didn’t matter to me if my clothes or hands got dirty because I knew I’d shower again later.
“Marlon was my second boyfriend. He was my first kiss with…” She paused and cleared her throat uncomfortably. Was she embarrassed to tell me about a little French kissing? After everything I’d done with my tongue, Selene was embarrassed to tell me about some adolescent fooling around?
She was one of a kind.
I kept quiet so as not to make her even more uncomfortable and waited a very long minute for her to continue talking.
“With tongue,” she murmured in the softest of voices, and I only barely suppressed a laugh.
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that. A kiss with what?” I pretended I couldn’t understand her, and she looked at me like I’d asked if she would suck me off.
She was so cute.
“With tongue,” she repeated uncertainly.
“What’s that?” I frowned to make my reaction look more authentic.
“A kiss with tongue! For Christ’s sake, Neil!” she practically yelled, and I exploded into laughter like I never had before. I struggled not to fall over into the sand and put a hand on my abdomen. Her eyes followed it there from where they had been, staring at my chest.
“Oh, very interesting. That might be the most erotic thing I’ve heard in my entire life. Truly.” I bit my lower lip and looked again at her plush mouth. My mood turned serious because what I really wanted to do was remind her of what a real kiss was, but she turned her face away toward the water. So,instead, I dwelled upon her perfect profile and the little upturn of her nose that I would have happily nibbled.
In that moment, it occurred to me that I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, and, weirdly enough, I didn’t want her to stop talking to me either.
