Matt picked me up at the airport after a two-hour flight, and we’d navigated through traffic for a few hours until we got to the small seaside town where my grandparents had lived. From there, we headed for the house on the beach.
After the long ride, I staggered out of the car with numb muscles. I couldn’t decide how I felt in that moment: I was elated and expectant, but, at the time, I was resolved and wary. It could very well have been just another of my father’s unsuccessful attempts to fix things between us. Deep down, though, I always hoped that spending a weekend together could help the two of us make some kind of progress.
“Here we are, our beach house,” Matt said enthusiastically, grabbing our bags out of the trunk. I looked around, breathing in the salty sea air. Not far away, I spotted the isolated beach. The sun was high in the sky, and a cold breeze whipped up the waves. They crashed on the shore with a peaceful sound.
“So, how do you like it? Do you remember this place?” Matt’s voice brought my attention back to the home in front of us. Dark wood contrastedwith whitewash that dominated the exterior. The large front porch came equipped with two wooden benches. There was also a table and a set of chairs out there so one could fully enjoy the fresh air, preferably with a nice glass of wine. I put my hand on the wooden balustrade as I climbed the first steps. It was like I could feel the memories under my fingertips: my grandparents and the childhood summers I’d spent with them.
“Go on, let’s get in.” My father was clearly much more enthusiastic than I was, but I couldn’t deny the new and unexpected feeling of peace I also had.
I followed him to the front door, and, when he opened it, I smiled to see that not a thing had changed since I saw it last. The wood-look tile floor contrasted with the white walls. The linen curtains and cheerful furnishings made the space feel bright, fresh, and airy.
I moved into the room slowly, like a child marveling at something grand for the very first time. In the living room, two couches upholstered with aquamarine fabric recalled the color of the ocean. The kitchen was small but functional. A little deeper in were the bedrooms—five of them and only one bathroom. The whole house was only one story.
Matt set our bags down on the floor, and I grabbed mine to stow it in one of the bedrooms. I picked the one I’d slept in as a child. It was small but cozy, and it looked right out on the water. In fact, the big window gave me an idyllic panoramic view. The sheets on the bed were cream swirled with shades of blue, and the furniture was all blond wood, from the dresser to the headboard, which was decorated in an ocean theme.
“So, what would you like to eat? I’m cooking,” Matt announced cheerfully when I returned to the kitchen. I regarded him thoughtfully as he put away some cans in the cupboards.
He was different.
He had adopted a notably more casual, sporty look. His dark sunglasses were pushed up on his forehead, and his black hair was spiked up with gel. He looked younger; maybe the informal clothing gave him a more carefree air.
“You can make whatever you want,” I answered flatly. It was his birthday after all, and I hadn’t even told him happy birthday yet. He didn’t seem to have noticed, though; all that mattered to him was that I’d agreed to spend this time with him.
“Fair warning: I’m not a great cook…” He scratched the back of his head, pulling a jar of peanut butter out of his grocery bag along with a box of pancake mix and several bags of pistachios. He’d bought so many of them, and I had no idea why.
“We could have something basic,” I suggested, shrugging.
We decided to eat outside at the table on the porch to take advantage of the ocean view that we’d only have for two days. It didn’t matter to us that temperatures were low and we were the only idiots who were choosing to spend time at a beach house long after summer had ended.
An hour later, Matt served up two plates of scrambled eggs and bacon, which would have been delicious had he not completely scorched them.
I was hardly a food snob, but that was the day I learned that my father really was hopeless in the kitchen.
“H-how is it?” he stammered, sounding embarrassed as he poured more water into my glass.
“It sucks, but I am really hungry, so…” I took a second forkful of yellow sludge and washed it down with a sip of water. Matt huffed, putting a dishtowel down on the table. He had tied on a chef’s apron for the occasion, which made him look extra ridiculous.
“Anna always cooks for us now, and when I was with your mom, she took care of that. I’m a bit rusty over here.” He shot me a tiny smile that I did not reciprocate. The initial peace between us had, once again, been replaced by the familiar tension we both felt every time we tried to have a real conversation.
“We should use this time to our advantage. These twenty-four hours you’ve given me are going to go by quick,” he said softly, his eyes locked on me.
Maybe for him it would pass quickly; it would be far too slow for me. I turned my fork against the plate, shuffling around the burned eggs I was trying to finish. I wanted to tell him to just take me back to the airport, but I had already agreed to this, and I didn’t want to ruin his birthday.
“Okay, what do you want to talk about?” I asked in a bored tone.
“Let’s talk about you. How are things with Jared?”
Of all the things he could have asked me about, he’d picked the veryworst one. My father knew nothing about what had gone down with Jared, much less the secret passion I’d shared with Neil.
I turned my attention back to my food, buying myself some time by taking another bite before I answered.
“We broke up, but I prefer to not talk about that.” I was not in the mood to tell him about Jared, and I probably never would be. Because telling him about everything that happened would also mean telling him about Neil and there was no way I could do that.
Neil…
His name echoed in my thoughts. It was ridiculous, how four letters could send my heart roiling.
“Let’s talk about you instead and how easy it was for you to cheat on my mother with Mia. I’m all ears.” I gave him a challenging grin and watched as he swallowed uncomfortably before clenching his jaw nervously.
