Suddenly, the display flashed, and she jumped, which made me give her a smug grin.
“I’ll give you a ride,” I said, growing serious again as I reached for the music player. “But don’t talk. I can’t stand people who run their mouths.” I pressed play on my personal playlist and turned up the volume a bit, the way I always did when I was driving alone.
Megan didn’t say anything and just leaned her head back against the seat, making herself comfortable.
I drove off, and we left her bike there. She could pick it up the next day. Then, we plunged into traffic, and almost immediately, I was forced to stop at a light.
Fortunately, Head Case hadn’t said a word in the last five minutes.
Good.
She’d followed my order, even though I hadn’t thought a woman like her would be so accommodating. I must finally be having the desired effect on her.
“You listen to The Neighbourhood?” Like she could read my mind, Megan spoke up just to ask me a banal question.
“If it’s on my playlist, that means I listen to it,” I said irritably as I watched the traffic light, waiting for it to turn green. They were my favorite band, actually, but I didn’t mention that. Instead, I ran my fingers through my hair nervously.
“My favorite is ‘Cry Baby,’” Megan continued, but I still didn’t look at her.
Green.
I accelerated, and Megan was thrown back against the seat. My car often had the upper hand. It had the power of a wave waiting to take shape, the speed of a rushing wind, and the savage heart of an untamed beast.
That was why I’d picked it out.
“Goddamn! You drive like shit!” Megan shouted, and I grinned, glancing at the rearview mirror before passing another car.
“Next time take a cab or walk, if you’d like that better.” I took one last drag from my cigarette and threw it out before rolling up the window. I turned the heater on, and then the song she’d been talking about came on, like it had been summoned with a magic spell.
Without asking for my permission, Megan reached over to turn up the volume and began humming along.
I tried to focus on the road because a ticket would have been just the thing I needed to end this shitty day on a high note, but the woman next to me was a distracting irritant.
“Do you still live at the same place?” I asked her, shooting her a look just in time to see her nod.
I turned down her street, but her voice caught my attention again.
“This is a song about a man who falls in love with the wrong woman,” she explained with a little half-smile. “Who knows? Maybe that could happen to you too. You might fall in love with me, Miller, even if you don’t want to,” she whispered into my ear.
I immediately slowed down and turned to look at her. She wore a sly smile now. Just then, I pulled up in front of her apartment and regarded her thoughtfully. What the fuck was she talking about?
Her green eyes stabbed into mine, trying to grab hold of the darkness that hovered over my soul. The same darkness that I was constantly fighting against and that, way down deep, tied the two of us together. That was whyI couldn’t stand being close to her, because she brought back memories that I wanted to erase.
No, I won’t ever fall in love with you because I don’t want to and because I can’t. Not with you, not with anyone else, is how I wanted to answer her. But I had no desire to trade barbs with her.
“We’re here.” I broke our stare and went back to looking out the windshield.
Why was she looking at me like that?
I could sense her perfume invading my space, and, once again, I turned to find her just a short distance from me. My eyes plunged into hers and could pick out the warm brown striations radiating out from her small pupils.
These were eyes that I had once seen looking dull, terrified, and ashamed.
But now they were pushing my buttons and rekindling all the outrage of my memories.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I snapped in my usually curmudgeonly way, and she chuckled, not at all scared or startled. She just kept staring at me and leaning in, and who knew what kind of thoughts were running through her head?
“I just wanted to thank you,” she said innocently with a shrug of her shoulders. I screwed up my forehead and shook my head in confusion.
