What, did he want to screw with my head the way he usually did in his office?
Still, I followed him outside, curious to see what he was thinking. As soon as I stepped outside, cold air caressed my face. I spotted Dr. Keller not far away and walked over to him, trampling the ornamental plants along the enormous avenue that ran through the garden outside the clinic.
The shrink stood perfectly still, facing an impressive fountain that I’d seen every time I came to the clinic but hadn’t really dwelled on. This time, however, I examined it more carefully. I looked at the dolphin in the middle of the water feature, made from cement mixed with marble dust. It perched proudly, as free as the real thing, with a pearl caught in its mouth. Just looking at it, my lips curled into a faint but genuine smile.
Then I focused on the drops of water, disrupting the pool below. They shimmered in the sun like countless blue crystals, just like Babygirl’s eyes. All of a sudden, I imagined some invisible hand crafting a surreal painting, tracing the outlines of Selene’s pale face and waves of auburn hair against the background of a cloudless blue sky.
Something as inexplicable as she was. Something as immense.
A work of art.
That’s what Selene was, but I would never say it.
“Do you know the legend of the dolphin and the pearl?” Dr. Keller noted my presence and spoke again, not looking at me.
“Again with this shit, Dr. Keller?” I burst out before lighting a cigarette and sucking in as much of the smoke as my lungs would allow.
“Call me John,” he responded quietly while I continued to smoke, looking indifferent.
“Okay, John. Let me be clear: I don’t want to listen to your shit,” I retorted, just to irritate the little doctor who seemed to have such enviable self-control.
“In myths and legends from around the world, the dolphin is a friend to man, a symbol of good against occult or evil powers,” Keller began, completely ignoring what I’d said. “They represent the link between the earthly world and that of the spirit. They embody the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.”
“Why do you have this stupid fucking habit of talking even when I don’t want to listen?” I asked him, truly annoyed as I sucked the smoke from my Winston, but John just gave me a sideways look and continued staring at the dolphin, ignoring my attitude.
“I love this fountain because the dolphin symbolizes inner strength, the search for one’s destiny, and freedom, which is a value innate to all humans.” He just kept going, and I rolled my eyes, becoming resigned to the knowledge that he was going to talk regardless of my total lack of interest.
“The pearl he carries in his mouth symbolizes purification from evil. There’s an ancient legend that says when a dolphin finds a pearl and swims away, clutching it like that, it means good luck. It means he had found the right path. He has a lodestar to follow so he will no longer get lost in the vastness of the ocean,” he explained, a soft smile on his lined face.
“Listen, John, I think you have a real problem here. You are fixated on folktales, pearls, the ocean, and all this other bullshit…” I let out a plume of smoke and walked over to the ashtray to put out my cigarette. “Also, you need to get off my back.” There, I’d made myself perfectly clear. Now the doctor would have to get the message and leave me alone.
“You know, Neil, you’re a nice guy deep down,” he answered instead, and I gave him a surprised look because I had expected him to tell me to piss off or to complain about how rude and annoying I was.
“Me? Nice?” I repeated with a frown.
Why did it always feel like he was fucking with me?
“That’s right. Despite how you refuse to show people anything but yourrough edges, I think you’re a good young man,” he said, taking a seat on a nearby wooden bench. He sat elegantly, one leg crossed over the other, and looked carefully at me. I remained standing, looking down at him from above. “Have you found a girlfriend who can appreciate this tremendous goodness of yours, Neil?” he asked, apropos of nothing, and I almost burst out laughing.
“Why the fuck are you asking?” I raised both eyebrows because I had no idea where John was going with that, and I didn’t appreciate him trying to pry into my personal life.
“I’m just curious. You’re young and good-looking; you must have some fair maiden chasing after you, no?” He smiled, and I gave him a flat look.Fair maiden?What the hell was he talking about?
“I’m not involved with anyone, if that’s what you’re trying to ask,” I told him, irritated.
“So that glass cube with the pearl inside, the one I gave to you a while ago, it didn’t bring you any luck?” he asked unhappily.
“Sure it did. The girl I gave it to got into a near-fatal car crash the same day,” I informed him. I didn’t soften any of that information and watched it hit him like a flurry of blows.
“And why did you choose to give it to her, specifically?”
“She got in an accident. Did you hear that part?” I pointed out obnoxiously, and he looked at me like I was the one who didn’t understand what he was saying.
“You said ‘near’ fatal. I take it she’s fine now?” He folded his hands in his lap and tilted his head to one side, squinting one eye slightly against the sun.
“Yes, she’s okay.” Physically, at least. Emotionally, Babygirl was weathering another disappointment caused by me.
“There—the cube brought you luck, then.” John gave me a pleased smile, and I grimaced. This conversation was bugging the hell out of me. “What’s the girl’s name?”
