“My friend, yeah. He’s a basketball player. His body is insane, and he has these incredible green eyes,” I said, laying it on a little thick just to tease him. Ivan wasn’t as hot as Neil, but I wanted Neil to think he was.
“Is that right? So why not fuck him?” He looked right at me.
“I might just do that, you know,” I answered scornfully.
“Take him to bed then, and confirm for yourself that there’s no better lover out there than me,” he said softly leaning toward me across the table. Was he trying yet again to push me into the arms of another man? He’d done the same thing the night we went out with Logan and Alyssa, putting on this whole show about some lucky guy who was going to take me home.
“But it makes no difference to you, right? You still have all your blonds at your disposal.” I pretended to be perfectly calm, though the jealousy that I always felt cut me up inside worse than any knife.
“What do you want me to say?” he whispered roughly. “That the last person I fucked was you?” Yes, I would have liked to hear him say that I was the only one for him, that I was the only person who had taken pleasure in his body since we’d met, and that I was the only one he’d given his heart. Iwould have liked to hear that I was special and the right woman for him, but I knew that was never going to happen.
“Okay folks, here are your Coney dogs.” Billy came over with a Coney in each hand, fortunately interrupting our ridiculous conversation.
“Thanks, Billy,” I said, and he placed the food down in front of us.
“Enjoy your meal.” Despite Mr. Disaster’s rudeness, the older man smiled at us before turning to take the order at another table.
“Am I seriously supposed to eat this?” Neil examined the loaded dog in front of him with obvious distaste. Reluctantly, he took it, and after the first bite, he demolished it in less than five minutes.
“Just terrible, isn’t it?” I said mockingly as he wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. I, on the other hand, enjoyed Billy’s delicious creation in demure little bites.
“Let’s just call it not bad.” He shrugged and leaned back, watching my lips as I awkwardly chewed.
“You dating this Ivan dude?” His honey-colored eyes skewered me, and I gulped down a bite of Coney dog with difficulty.
“No. Not yet, at least,” I said, not wanting to rule out the possibility that it might happen in the future. Neil’s body tensed.
“So you like him,” he observed, watching my mouth lasciviously.
“I didn’t say that.” I took another bite and turned my gaze away to avoid eye contact with him.
“Look at me,” he demanded, and I could feel the desire in his voice, all mixed up with the anger he so often failed to control. Though I didn’t quite understand why he was using that tone to speak to me, I obeyed on instinct. I quit eating and lowered the Coney dog to my plate.
“There’s nothing between Ivan and me.” I ran my tongue along the corner of my mouth to gather up a smear of mustard, and his eyes tracked the movements, turning into two luminous slits. Why was I explaining myself to him? More importantly, where did he get off thinking he could question me about who I was seeing?
“‘Nothing’ is how it always starts,” he answered severely with a hint of suspicion.
“I’m not like you. I can’t share my body with just anyone,” I told himclearly because I couldn’t bear having him think that kind of thing about me. I would only ever be with another man if I fell in love with him, and for the time being, my heart beat exclusively for this walking disaster from New York.
“That’s why you could never be with someone like me,” he said in a troubled murmur.
I finished my Coney dog, Neil stood up, and said, “Let’s go.” I stood up as well, lifting up my damaged boot so the broken heel could dangle. Neil walked over and crouched in front of me again.
“Take advantage of my kind mood today, Tinkerbell,” he said wryly, and I again clutched his powerful body as he carried me over to the diner’s cash register to pay for our meal.
“You two get out of here; it’s on the house!” Billy said from behind the register, and Neil gave me a blank look.
“Are you sure?” I asked Billy, who just smiled in response and stretched out a hand with two plastic-wrapped fortune cookies inside.
“Of course. Take these too.” He paused and then turned to me before adding, “I hope they bring plenty of good fortune, Selene.” He handed the fortune cookies to Neil, who grabbed them with typical indifference. I thanked Billy for everything, and we headed out into the night.
“Let me down over there,” I said softly to Neil, pointing to a large tree on the corner. We reached my suggested spot a few moments later, and Neil lowered me to the ground. I watched him straighten back up to his full height, no expression on his beautiful face. It didn’t seem remotely difficult for him to walk with me on his back. Neil really was incredibly strong.
“Why are we here?” he asked, glancing around. There was nothing but a single dim lamppost.
The freezing wind whipped against our bodies while his golden eyes put to shame any light from the stars that made it through the cloudy sky.
I’d always thought of Neil as mysterious and unknowable, distant and inscrutable, just like a sky full of stars.
