“Oh, he did. He meant exactly what he said, every word. I know you want to come to his defense because he’s your brother, but—” But I didn’t get to finish because Logan interrupted me.
“I would be the first to tell you that he’s a dickhead, Selene, but believe me—he likes you. He likes you a lot, and that scares him.” He sighed, and Alyssa gave a snort of displeasure, but Logan ignored her and kept talking. “He hasn’t been doing well lately,” he continued sadly, and something strange vibrated in my chest. It felt like those same contrasting emotions—confusion, fear, lust, and love—that I felt whenever I thought about Neil.
“Did something happen to him?” I asked in alarm. I never said anything about Player being behind my accident. What if he had hurt Neil? Right at that moment, my mother appeared, holding a tray with three glasses of juice on it. She set it down on the coffee table in front of us and smiled.
“I brought you all something to drink. If you need anything, I’ll be right over there,” she said as she took her leave, giving us the privacy we needed to talk. I immediately focused on Logan again.
“Neil has to deal with his issues, and lately it seems like he’d rather give up entirely instead of fighting like he always had before. Matt’s anger and our mom’s disappointment have been like the last straw for him,” he continued miserably. Logan assumed that I understood exactly what “issues” he was referring to but, in reality, I only had a vague idea. He hadn’t really told me much at the beach house, so I could only imagine the full scope of the trauma Neil was forced to deal with every day because of what he’d suffered at the hands of Kimberly.
“What about now? Where is he now?” My voice broke, and my instincts urged me to grab my phone and call him, but pride stood in my way.
“We offered to let him come here with us,” Alyssa informed me. “But he absolutely refused to see you. Tell her the truth, Logan.” Then she glared at her boyfriend, and I looked down at my legs. I’d rather not know that kind of information, actually.
“I know my brother better than anyone else. He cares about Selene, and if he’s not here, it’s because he has a good fucking reason!” Logan snapped back, annoyed at her. Alyssa cleared her throat uncomfortably. No one, but no one, was allowed to rag on Neil in front of his brother. Not even his girlfriend.
After that little tiff, we continued talking about nothing in particular while sipping juice. I steered the conversation toward college classes to dispel some of the tension still lingering between Logan and Alyssa. Once harmony was restored, the time went by too fast. When, after a couple of short hours, they had to leave because they were planning to stay with some of Alyssa’s cousins in Ann Arbor, I was feeling melancholy.
In the doorway, Logan advised me to message Neil, while Alyssa told me to have some fun with someone new and get Neil out of my head. She couldn’t seem to stand him at all and, as time went on, her distaste for him only seemed to increase.
“When will they be back?” my mother asked when we were alone again.
“No idea,” I said thoughtfully. I sat down in a kitchen chair and watched the sky outside the window. It had just started sleeting, and the glow from the streetlight rendered the tiniest water droplets visible, like thousands of pinpoints of light. The drops raced down the glass, and the sky overhead was as dark as my mood.
“Sooner or later, missy, you are going to have to tell me about you and Neil. You do know that, don’t you? I’m just giving you some time before the inevitable mother-daughter discussion,” my mother said in a stern voice, and I turned to look at her. It had been a long time since she’d talked to me like that, and I’d almost forgotten how uncomfortable I got when she looked at me the way she was now: frostily.
“Yes, I know, Mom,” I murmured, trying not to look annoyed. I was wellaware that I had screwed everything up and that my relationship with Neil had ended exactly the way I should have expected it to; I didn’t need her lecture as well.
“Okay, I’m going to take a hot bath,” she told me before vanishing through the kitchen doorway.
I snorted and returned to staring out the window. I used my index finger to draw funny faces on the fogged-up glass, like a kid. The first had his tongue sticking out, the second one’s eyes were crossed, and I drew a little heart in the middle between them. I smiled to myself at my silly little drawing until the ringing of the doorbell interrupted my art appreciation, which was very annoying.
“Who the hell is it now?” I got up reluctantly and walked slowly toward the front door.
“Selene! Get the door!” my mother shouted from the bathroom at the back of the house, and I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, I’ve got it,” I groused as the doorbell continued chiming impatiently. “Hold on a minute, for God’s sake!” I said acidly and put my hand on the doorknob to pull it open in a bored fashion.
“I don’t know why I came all the way out here either. I’m just hoping you aren’t going to immediately kick me out and will give me a chance to explain why I said that stuff to your dad.”
My eyes bugged slightly when Neil’s deep baritone rebounded off the living room walls, like the kind of powerful thunderclap that gave me goosebumps.
I shivered, and my pulse sped up.
That was Neil: butterflies in the stomach and a racing heart.
The most seductive lie, the most refined torture.
His face was wet, as was the messy hair that straggled over his forehead. A leather jacket made his shoulders look even wider and highlighted his fit biceps. Underneath it, a basic white V-neck sweater was completely saturated with water, plastering it to the sculpted shape of his pecs and stomach. My eyes flicked then to his powerful legs, swathed in black skinny jeans, before moving back up to his face. Specifically to the swollen, slightly parted lips that had so often inspired my most sinful desires.
I stared at him in shock: I hadn’t expected to find him at my front door. I tried to breathe steadily as I considered my options. I could give him the boot and show him how angry he’d made me. Or I could invite him in and hear what he had to say.
“I take it this is your bizarre way of saying hello? Hi to you too,” I answered in a shaky voice. I wished I could have projected more confidence, but my agitation showed. My heart was bursting from my chest and my body trembled under his dark yet terribly arousing stare.
“Can I come in?” He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up. It was incredibly sexy, and I couldn’t help but watch his muscles in the white sweater he wore under his leather jacket.
I tried to get myself together and think about what I needed to do. Neil deserved to be left out in the freezing rain or to have me scream “Go back to New York!” at him. But, instead, what I said was…
“Yes.” I cleared my throat and stepped aside to let him in. A hint of a smile played at his lips, and the honey of his eyes lit up with all the splendor of the sunrise. That moment was confirmation of how completely gone I was for the man. His stare was enough to bring me back to life. His presence was enough to keep from giving up in most hopeless moments. His smile was enough to light up the night sky. I wanted to hate him; I wanted to stay far away from him. I had tried to burn my love for him out of my soul, down to the roots. But all I had to do was see him again, and the feeling bloomed again: overpowering, untamed, and even stronger than before.
