“Hi, kitten.”
Her eyes fill instantly. She blinks hard, as if seeing me hurts.
“I thought I was going to lose yo—” Her voice breaks. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.”
“Can’t make any promises,” I rasp, trying to move my fingers, trying to reach for her. They barely twitch.
She shifts higher, her hands still fisted in my gown over my chest. “You’re such a fucking idiot.”
I manage something that might be a smile. Or a wince. “I love you too.”
That does it. A sob punches out of her, and she buries her face against my chest. The pressure lights up every nerve ending in my body, but I don’t move. I don’t flinch.
Let her stay. Let her hurt me. It’s nothing compared to what I’ve done to her.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. The words taste like glass. “For all of it.”
She goes still.
I stare at the ceiling because I don’t deserve to see her face when I say this.
“I’m fucked up, Arlo. I’m not pretending I’m not. There’s something broken in me—I know it. I don’t feel things like normal people. And when I do, it’s too much. It burns. And I take it out the only way I know how. Violently.”
My throat thickens. I force the rest out anyway.
“I’m sorry for hurting you. For using you when you deserved comfort. For every time I scared you. Every time I made you think you were just another possession. You weren’t.”
She lifts her head slowly. Her eyes are glassy with tears.
“You’re not just a possession,” I say again, voice shaking now. “You’re my fucking addiction. And I’m terrified, Arlo. I’m terrified I’ve already destroyed the only good thing I ever touched.”
She doesn’t speak. Just presses her palm against my cheek. I lean into it.
“I’ll always be too much. Too cruel. Too angry. Too obsessed. But I swear to you—I will spend every fucking day trying to be something you can survive. Even if I can’t be good. Even if I can’t be right.” Her fingers tremble. “You’re mine…but I’m yours, too. Every sick, violent, broken part of me.”
She swallows hard, blinking fast.
“You think I don’t know that?” she whispers. “You think I didn’t choose you anyway?” My eyes burn. “I’d rather bleed beside you than breathe without you. So if you’re going to ruin me, then ruin me. But don’t you dare fucking leave me.”
“Never. Never again.”
A real smile breaks across her face, and she softly laughs.
That sound.
Her laugh.
It knocks the air from my lungs.
I’ve heard her cry. Scream. Cuss me out with every bone in her body. But this? This is different. This is light. Pure. Unfiltered joy from the one person I never thought I’d deserve. I want to hear it every goddamn day.
It’s prettier than her scream. And fuck, I love her scream.
I let the sound bury itself somewhere deep—past the broken parts. Past the pain. Somewhere I can keep it. Forever.
“Guess I’ll have to live long enough to ruin you properly.”
She leans in, kissing the corner of my mouth. “Deal.”
