Mason
My eyes were gritty, but I couldn’t summon the motivation to rub them. After Brooke left me, I’d staggered to the couch and collapsed onto it, and I hadn’t moved all night. It was now mid-morning, and I should have already been in my workshop or out in the pasture fixing the water trough but moving felt impossible.
The pained expression on Brooke’s face was front and center in my mind. Tears had filled her eyes and streamed down her face. I’d known the truth would hurt her, but the absolute devastation it had caused her stabbed me in the gut.
I should have confessed from the start. If I had, we wouldn’t have developed a relationship, and it may not have hit her as hard. Instead, I’d given the bond a chance to grow. I’d even told her she was my mate. That she should be my everything. That I would protect her.
I’d done the opposite of protecting her. She was never going to be my mate; my secret about her brother was too big not to affect any chance I had at claiming her. But part of me had hoped somehow it would work. That fate hadn’t been so utterly cruel to me.
I dropped my head back and took a ragged breath. How was I supposed to move forward from this? I thought I’d already grieved the bond years ago, but now my chest was open and bleeding from a wound I hadn’t expected.
Someone knocked on my front door. I ignored it, not wanting to see anyone.
Another knock sounded, followed by Declan’s voice. “Mason? I know you’re in there.”
Damn our shifter senses. He could probably smell me. It made it impossible to hide from my brothers. “Not now. I’m taking a sick day.”
The door swung open, and Declan strode inside. I growled. “I said, Not now!”
“I’m not letting you wallow in whatever misery you’re feeling.” He dropped onto the coffee table in front of me and rested his elbows on his knees. “You didn’t take your eyes off Brooke last night, and she couldn’t get far enough away from you. Did her coming bring back memories from when you were away?”
I glowered at him, hands fisting the cushions. Not answering.
“When you first got back, we let you be. Let you work through it on your own. It was difficult watching you struggle, hearing you scream in the night when you had nightmares.” Declan’s jaw tightened. “Dad told us just to help you transition back to the ranch. To being part of the family again. And it worked. In time, the nightmares stopped. You were you again, just older. We could tell you’d seen things that changed you, but you were our brother again.”
He paused, throat working. “I won’t watch you go down that path again. Not if I can stop it.”
Tears burned my eyes, but I held them back. My heart still ached, but there was a soft warmth surrounding it. I wished it were as simple as letting someone stop the pain.
My voice was hoarse. “There’s nothing you can do.”
“Try me.” Declan put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “You’ve never talked to anyone about this stuff before. It might help.”
I glanced away, staring at a snag in the rug. Brooke already couldn’t look at me. If I told Declan, would I lose my brother too?
“Stop overthinking this.” Declan’s tone held the same command our dad had used when serious. “Let me take some of your burden.”
My breath shuddered. The desire to share, and maybe find a solution to everything, rose. Brooke would never allow me to claim her, but if I could lessen her pain somehow, I would do anything.
I wondered where to start, but everything jumbled in my head. So, I started with the present. “Brooke’s my mate. I’ve known since her brother’s funeral five years ago.”
Declan was silent as my words registered. Then he stood and walked to the fridge, returning with two bottles of beer. He cracked the lids and handed me one before sitting next to me on the couch. “Why haven’t you claimed her?”
I picked at the label. “I’m responsible for her brother’s death.”
He took a long sip of his beer. “Gonna need to know more about that.”
“There was a mission. Top secret. We were to go in, rescue hostages, and get them out of enemy territory.” I rolled the cool bottle between my hands. “It should have been straightforward. The intel was solid, and Aaron and I were a great team. But it went wrong almost immediately.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “I went in, but the building was empty. Then there was an explosion, andeverything started to collapse around me. I fell on a steel rod and couldn’t get off.”
Declan watched as I rubbed my thigh, which ached at the memory. “Aaron ran in to get me. I told him to leave. To save himself. He refused. He helped me walk, but before we got far, the wall above us fell, and he pushed me out of the way. The debris pinned him down.”
My body shook as I fought falling into the memory. I needed to keep some distance, however hard. “I dug him out, but he was unconscious. I lifted him over my shoulder and carried him past the wreckage.”
“On your injured leg?” Declan looked horrified.
“I had no choice. It took me an hour to get him back to our territory. We were almost caught several times.” I rubbed my hand against the back of my neck, and my palm, cool from holding the bottle, soothed the heated skin. “Both our radios were broken, so I couldn’t call for help. By the time I got him to the hospital, it was too late. His internal injuries were too severe.”
