“I’ll let you know if the sudden urge strikes me.”
“Thanks.” He grew solemn. “It’s more than I deserve.”
“Us being mates explains alot.” I gnawed on my bottom lip. “Things that weren’t adding up do now.”
“Such as?”
“You could have written off the betrothal if you couldn’t find me. You didn’t have to go through with it. But to know you have a mate? Who wouldn’t fight for that? You uprooted your clan for me, moved into hostile territory. I’ve struggled with being the cause of their strife, with the impact it’s had on their lives. The risks you took make more sense in hindsight.”
“Can you forgive me for not being more straightforward sooner?”
“Let’s hear what the bargain is first.” I cocked an eyebrow. “Then I’ll render judgment.”
Rather than picking up on my joking tone, which I will admit had gone flat, he took me seriously.
“I had blue eyes like Goldie when I was a boy.”
ten
“You don’t haveto share if you’re not ready,” I rushed out, nerves trembling in my voice.
“You’ve been kind about the oddness of my current color. You never gawked or prodded me for answers about my vision like most people do. I’ve given you openings, but you’ve made it clear my privacy means more to you than your curiosity.”
“I figured you would tell me if you wanted me to know.”
“It’s not a matter of wanting to burden you, but you do deserve to know.”
“I’m waiting.” I gripped his hand, resting it on my thigh. “Take your time.”
“Liam wasn’t wrong when he said reports of your death ruined me. I did a lot of things I don’t remember and things I wish I didn’t remember while I was grieving.” His hand turned cold in mine. “What he didn’t mention, because he never speaks of it outside the family, was what pulled me out of my spiral.”
“He said turning you into a workaholic was the cure.”
“That was part of it, but I required a catalyst, and he found one for me.”
A hard thump in my chest warned I wasn’t going to like what he had to say. “Okay?”
“I wouldn’t believe you were alive without proof, and there was none to be found. So, we visited a black witch who promised she could locate you. For a price.”
Dread carved my stomach hollow, and I wished I could go back in time and shake sense into him. “Rían…”
“I gave her my vision, with the stipulation I got five yearsafterI found you before I go blind. The second sight she granted me, allowing me to track you, required a deposit of one quarter of my vision upfront.” He breathed easier, as if a great weight had fallen off his shoulders. “That’s the bargain.”
“Can you renegotiate?” I couldn’t swallow past the lump in my throat. “The payment or the terms?”
“That’s not how it works. Magic that powerful requires sacrifice. Sartori had hidden you under layers of complex spells and wards. That’s why I couldn’t find you. He was smart enough to use white magic too. It’s weaker, but it’s socially acceptable, and it wouldn’t draw attention like black magic would.”
Brain stumbling over this latest information, I blurted, “I don’t smell it on you.”
Black magic stank of death and rot, and Rían carried neither of those scents.
“You can thank Fayne for that. She concealed it to prevent the clan from learning what I had done.” His gaze drifted back to the stars. “She believes if I continue to lead them as I have, that they’ll see I can do the job with or without my vision. I was in no condition to argue the point with her back then, and I had already left a mess behind when I ran away to wallow, so I trusted her judgment. Maguri are advisors, after all.”
“You sound like you would have done it differently.”
“Had I been in my right mind, I would have told the clan everything and thrown myself on their mercy. But I wasn’t, and I didn’t, and now there’s this festering lie separating me from the others. Fayne stands by her decision, and it did make senseunder the circumstances, especially with me striving to live up to the clan’s expectations as the youngest magnus to rule.”
“You know what your problem is, Rían?”
