“Does that mean…?” He bit down hard on the hope in his voice. “Never mind.”
Strain etched his features, along with a hint of shame. I had never met someone as self-contained as Rían. It was an admirable trait in an alpha?—
No.
Hadn’t I just been nudging Sloane to stop thinking in those terms? Rían was a magnus, soon to bemymagnus. But the bottom line was he had stoppered himself up so tightly, he reminded me of myself, in a way. Both of us hiding our true faces, afraid of sharing the darker facets of ourselves, always feeling one misstep would send us stumbling face-first into rejection.
“I would like to become a Walsh,” I gusted out before I lost my nerve, “if you’ll have me.”
“You mean it?” He cut his eyes toward me. “You’re sure?” He glanced away. “Don’t do it for Sloane?—”
“What about for you?”
Damn it. I hadn’t meant to say that. I hadn’t wanted to put him on the spot. It wasn’t fair. He had been transparent in his goals with me since the day we met. I was the murky one. I had no right to demand more from him while giving him less than he deserved, and my phrasing made it sound like my decision hinged on him when it didn’t. Not entirely. Not anymore.
“I won’t ask that of you.” His smile turned brittle. “I don’t have the right.”
“We’re betrothed, though.” I wanted to dig a hole and climb in because my mouth had gone rogue. “Doesn’t that give you the right?”
“No.” He slid his hand out of mine. “Honestly, I wish I hadn’t told you that part.”
Seriously, where was a shovel when you needed one? “Oh.”
“I didn’t mean it like…” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I worry I made you feel obligated from the start. If I had kept my mouth shut instead of—” A groan ripped through him. “But I couldn’t help myself. I had to tell you. I wanted you to know I’m yours.” He dropped into a crouch and linked his hands behind his head. “I still can’t help myself when it comes to you. As you can tell. From how I’m humiliating myself but can’t get the words to stop because my mouth has a mind of its own around you.”
“You’re the first person in my life to tell me the whole truth. You’ve been upfront with me from the day we met. You never made me work for it. You were just you. Open and honest. I’ll admit I didn’t trust the big picture, but that wasn’t a reflection on you. It just hurt too much, learning about…everything…and it was hard accepting that I had been living a lie.” I knelt beside him. “I’ve never had someone want me for myself, so the betrothal thing has been messing with my head too.” I placed a hand on his broad back. “I felt like I was an obligation to you, a promise to keep?—”
“Hey.”
We cranked our heads toward the voice to find Liam racing toward us with Sloane beside him.
“You found Jess that fast?” I braced on Rían’s shoulder and stood to greet them. “Impressive.”
“What happened here?” Liam slowed as he took in the scene. “You okay, Rían?”
Skirting Liam, Sloane ran straight for me, sniffing me top to bottom to ensure I wasn’t harmed either.
“I’m better than okay.” Rían brushed his fingers over his lips like he couldn’t believe what came out of his mouth. “Ana is going to become a Walsh.”
A series of sharp barks erupted from Sloane as she pranced a circle around me.
“That’s great news.” Liam, for once, looked pleased with me. “When’s the big day?”
“It’s weak of me, I know, but I want to wait until the alpha challenge is over before I cut ties for good.” A sliver of my heart that held on to what it meant to be a Sartori refused to let me jeopardize the outcome with a visceral blow in the final hours before blood spilled in earnest. “I’m sorry for that.”
Win or lose, Carmichael would get this one last gift from me, but that was it.
“As long as you don’t expect Sartori to walk you down the aisle.” He shrugged. “Have it whenever.”
Sucking in a sharp breath, I choked on my own spit and almost coughed up a lung.
“I meant she’s joining the pack.” Rían unfolded to his full height and patted my back. “Not the family.”
“Oh.” Liam rubbed his chin. “That’s also good news.”
Fur bristling, Sloane tossed a growl his way and licked the back of my hand in support.
“Any luck…with Jess?” I hit myself in the chest with my fist a few times. “Did…you find…her?”
