“Henry, please. I have to do this alone. I need to prove to myself that I’m strong enough and that I know who I am and what I want.” The words taste slightly bitter. “Last night was..” I want to say “special” but there’s so much fear floating inside ofmy heard. “Henry, it was a lot and things are moving really fast. I’m not… I’m not ready for us just yet.”
The hurt that flashes across his face nearly breaks me. “Willa?—”
“I’m sorry. I’m not saying never.” I stand, putting distance between us. “I’m just saying I need some space. To figure things out.”
He looks at me for a long moment, and I can see him trying to decide whether to fight or respect my wishes.
“Okay,” he says finally. “But here’s the deal… whenever you’re ready, I’m here and Willa, and I’m not changing my mind about us.” He’s so clear, so warm and soft with his words.
God, he’s so sweet.
I want to reach out for that warmth and pull it to me, but I just can’t. My head and heart are at war.
He leaves, and I collapse on my bed, crying. Because I’m doing exactly what Wally trained me to do— pushing away anyone who could help. Isolating myself. Making myself small. Being what he wants me to be when I just want to be me.
But it’s possible that my fears are what if Henry gets hurt? What if Wally targets Ben?
And the fear wins.
Like it always does.
Chapter 18
Henry
I sendMrs. Thompson from next door back home, but I don’t go back to sleep. I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
She pushed me away. After the moments we shared, every promise we made, she pushed me away. My heart burns and I try not to be upset, but dammit, I love this woman and it’s hard not to feel like this isn’t right.
But I know it’s not about me. It’s about him. About fear. About a woman who’s been conditioned to believe she has to face everything alone.
“Daddy?” Ben appears in my doorway, rubbing his eyes. “Why are you sad?”
I sit up. “Come here, buddy.”
He climbs into bed with me, and I hold him close.
“Dr. Willa’s going through something hard,” I say carefully. “And she’s scared. So, I’m just a little sad for her.”
“Is she gonna be okay?”
He’s so kind. He reminds me of Willa.
“I hope so.”
“Me too.” He yawns.
“What do you think I should do?”
“Be brave,” Ben says it like it’s obvious. “I think she’s brave, too, but sometimes you’re brave for me when I’m scared.”
“When did you get so wise?”
“I’m seven. I know stuff.” He looks up at me. “I think I really like Willa, Daddy.”
I think about Willa— her strength, her vulnerability, the way she makes me want to be better, to love again. “Yeah, buddy. I really think I love her.”
“Then go fight, Daddy. And if you skin your knee, it’s okay. Things happen and it will heal. It just takes time.”
