Roman stopped abruptly and looked at her in surprise, forcing his real emotions down. He’d mastered suppressing them over the years to keep her from knowing his every thought.Easy to do when you feel dead inside without the love of your life.
“Vivian, I barely have time to take a shit, let alone fall in love with someone. If I’m not training with the warriors, my parents have me in council meetings and going over fake political scenarios with them or the scholars.”Lie. He’d completed that training years ago, but she didn’t know that. “What little spare time I possess, I spend with the few friends I have. When would I fall in love with someone?”
“I’ve felt it,” Vivian stated matter-of-factly and tapped her chest. “Or did you forget?”
Time to see if his emotion suppressing skills were as good as he thought. “And when was the last time you felt it?Reallyfelt it? A couple of years, right?” He scrubbed his hands down his face and dropped them, feigning defeat. “I can feel your sadness, Viv. I know you miss your old boyfriend.”Truth. It gave him pleasure to know she was suffering, and now he thanked the gods for her still holding a candle for this mystery man.
She shifted, a look of uncertainty flitting across her features for the first time. “I still feel spurts of affection and happiness from you.”
Shit.He rubbed his forehead and feigned disbelief. “You do know that I love my family and friends, right? Gods, Vivian, look at us.”
They stared at each other, Roman waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. “It doesn’t matter,” she conceded. “We’re mated, and that’s that.”
“But you can still be happy,” he murmured. “It was wrong of me to put an end to your relationship when I had no intention of starting one with you.”
Her eyes flared. “What are you saying?” He thought of Violet to garner affection and push it down the bond, schooling his face into one of sympathy, hoping Vivian would mistake it as him caring about her happiness.
“I’m saying I won’t stop you anymore.” The crackling of a candle was the only break in the silence of the room. “If you want to be with him, or anyone else, I give you my blessing.”
“Violet won’t have you,” she informed him, her words cracking like a whip.
He snorted. “Violet is in a committed relationship. It’s only a matter of time before Titus proposes to her. I can assure you, this has nothing to do with your sister.”
Vivian’s face paled, and she wandered over to her bed and sat down.That isn’t the reaction I expected. Her sister being happy while Vivian livednot miserablyat best got to her. She’d unknowingly given him the perfect weapon to wield against her.
“It’s funny.” He smiled wryly. “You once said you’d won because the gods chose you as queen.” He forced her to look at him, pushing as much sympathy and pity as he could down the bond. Truthfully, he did pity Vivian. She might be a spiteful, arrogant nightmare of a person toward Roman and Violet, but she’d had her choice taken away too. “In the end, Violet is the only winner,” he whispered. “She gets to marry someone she loves and be happy for the rest of her life; and look at us.” He gestured between them.
Vivian’s jealousy shot hot and fast down the bond, but Roman pretended not to feel it.Predictable. “And when we’re married?” she demanded.
Roman crouched down in front of her and turned her face to his. “Our arrangement still stands.” He hesitated. “Viv…”
She rubbed her chest, brows pushing together. “I can feel your uncertainty. Just say what you need to say.”
“If you decide to marry him, I understand,” Roman murmured. “I won’t stop you.”
He grunted when her shock, anger, hope, and confusion assaulted him. “That’s treason,” she hissed and stood, nearly tipping him over. “And what of the future of the kingdom,Your Grace? They would hunt me down for jeopardizing their future safety.”
“No,” he said sharply. “I wouldn’t let that happen. I’m not saying I want you to do that—no royal has ever married anyone other than their mate in the history of Eden—but I’m not a fucking monster. I won’t force you to marry me and sign yourself up for a life of misery. We’ve tried to be friends, and it doesn’t work. We’re too different.” Tried was being generous. More like he’d pretended to try for three seconds when they were teens. “You can have your affairs. I won’t disparage your happiness anymore, and I don’t want to put my kingdom at risk, but if breaking our bond is the only way you feel you can live without hating your life, I won’t begrudge you that, either.”
Roman walked to the door and opened it. “I’m not the soulless asshole you think I am,” he intoned quietly. “I’m giving you back the choice the gods stole from us.”
He closed the door behind him and prayed Vivian’s feelings for her ex-lover were stronger than her desire to be queen.
16
THREE MONTHS LATER
Violet stood on her toes and planted a kiss on Titus’ lips. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” The corners of his mouth tightened, and she added, “Not for sex. Just to stay.”
He pulled her close and smoothed back her hair. “I wish I could. More than anything.”
The strain in his voice caught her by surprise, and she leaned back to look at him. “Is everything okay?”
His lips, warm and soft, pressed tenderly against her forehead. “Stress from work. That’s all.”
“I’ll make you your favorite sweet rolls tomorrow,” she promised and stepped back. “Have you decided what you’re wearing to Vivian and Roman’s wedding? If your clothes need to be altered, I’ll have to start on them now.”
If it weren’t for Roman, Violet doubted she’d attend the wedding at all. Supporting her friend was the only reason she planned on attending the grand affair. Vivian ignored her more than before, but she and Roman saw each other at least once a week. Sometimes he had lunch with her, Griff, and Slayton, and every now and then, he even came to dinner with her and Titus.
