“Why not?” he pouts, and I resist the urge to kiss him.
Jesus, Aoi get a grip.
“Because it’s confidential.”
His hand finally threads with mine as our fingers interlace.
Is it normal that I don’t hate it? On the contrary, his touch is as appeasing as sex usually is. When I hook up with men and their hands knead my skin, I momentarily forget the pain and buzzing under my flesh, but once it’s time to let go, it all comes surging back into my mind like a colony of wasps.
Being touched out of sex makes me uncomfortable, because there is no logical reason to wanting any type of proximity with me. The only thing I can offer is my body. Being wanted for anything else is simply impossible.
Then why don’t I hate his tender skin on mine? Why am I not rejecting it? Why does it feel so good?Soright?
Something’s wrong with me.
I pull my hand out of his and watch as his features falter, but he recomposes himself instantly. “Let’s go on a date.”
“What? Like right now?”
“Yeah, right now. You and me. I have just the right spot I want to take you to. Actually, more than one,” he says, getting to his feet and extending his hand for me to take. “What do you think?”
I hesitate, glancing at my computer then back at him but something in me wants to take that hand and follow him anywhere. “Are you going to bring me to Paradise again?”
“Not this time,” he laughs. “I want to show you the different faces of the world.”
“With you, that could mean anything.”
“Exactly. That’s why you’ll like it. The unknown mixed with a familiar presence.”
I sigh and against the shouting of that little voice in the back of my head, begging me to run the other way, I get up and gather my things. “I don’t know why I can’t say no to you. Maybe it’s your Prince Charming smile.”
His lips curl up, and I’m almost blinded by his angelic halo. “You’re the only one who gets to see this side of me, Aoi.”
“I don’t believe you.” I throw my bag on my shoulder and slip my hand in his as he leads us out of the coffee shop.
“You never do.” He reluctantly lets go of my hand to open the passenger door and I sit down inside the car. “But I promised I’d make you see how deeply my feelings for you run and I intend to keep my word.”
My heart thumbs in my chest, fumbling with the words in my mouth. I don’t answer and simply watch him settle behind the steering wheel.
I’ve never felt like this before. Warm and fuzzy. I want to see him smile more, want to listen to him call me beautiful as he gazes into my eyes like I’m the ocean and he’s the moon.
Do I have a crush on him?
Fuck no. There’s no way.
Okay, maybe a tiny one.
Fine, I do!
But I will stab my heart before I let it beat for someone whose life I will ruin if I stay around.
29
Visha
As we arrive to the flea market, Aoi gapes at me like I’ve grown a second head. “Did you hire a secret agent to gather intel on me or something? Because it’s getting scary how well you know me.”
I laugh at his brows frowned in suspicion. “I would never do something like that.”
