If I could just let myselffeelfor once and forget to think.
This doesn’t have to mean anything. It could be like every other hook up–an escape from my rotten mind.
He pulls me closer and I close my eyes, relishing the excitement fluttering in my stomach.
But then something completely unexpected happens.
He kisses my forehead.
My eyes open and I nearly scoff at the obvious lust and desire as he smiles innocently. “NowI’mthe confused one.”
“I just don’t want us to skip steps,” he says and takes my hand in his before placing a charming kiss on my knuckles. “I want you to fall in love with me the way I fell for you.”
I pull away from him and smile. “You’re definitely insane. God, what am I doing here? I think you should drive me back to my hotel now.”
Andrew bites his lip and sighs. “You don’t believe me. I get it but I’ll make you see my feelings for you one way or another.”
“I like you, Andrew,” I say, slipping my hand out of his and regretting the loss of his warmth instantly. “You’re handsome and sweet but…I don’tknowyou.”
“Can’t we change that?” he asks softly. “Get to know me and see what kind of man I am before rejecting my advances.”
I want to laugh at how absurd his request is.
There’s no reason for him to desire getting to know me. He’s barely spoken to me twice, yet he’s that interested in me?
It can’t be.
“You don’tknow me.” I scoff and comb a hand through my hair. “You definitely don’t want me. I can assure you that. Don’t get involved with me. You’ll only get hurt.” I chuckle at how much he looks like a sad puppy whose treats have been taken from him. “Take me back to my hotel, Andrew. It’s the best for both of us.”
He tilts his head, gazing into my soul and for an instant I want to say fuck it and kiss him.
“If that’s really what you want.”
I bite my lip, holding myself back from messing with his head. He deserves better than what I can offer. He’s young and happy. That’s how he should stay.
Away from me and the crimson ink tainting my hands.
He groans softly, and I notice my palm on his thigh. What the hell am I doing? I literally just told myself to get away from him but then I make a fucking move?
Jesus, Aoi, you’re unbelievable.
His eyes darken when I stroke his thigh. His attention is set on my face, attempting to ignore my fondling, and I can’t stop myself from grinning like a fool.
I need to stop, I really have to.
But I don’t want to.
I crave the way he looks at me like I’m more than a broken vase, like I’m precious. He gazes at me with the devotion of a worshiper at a god’s altar, on his knees and ready to fight fate just to please me.
Why does he look at me likethat?
“I’m sorry.” I remove my hand and look away. “I know I’m a confusing jerk. A walking contradiction.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t care. Be confusing. Hurt me if you must. I want you.”
My heart shudders behind my ribcage, beating harder for each of these three words.
I want to believe him, but words aren’t enough.
