When I overdosed for the first and last time, he was crying next to me. In the hospital, he kept apologizing to me, thinking I was unconscious. He kept admitting his guilt, he admitted it. I brushed it aside, wanting to forget that episode but he said that it was all his fault. At that moment, all I could think was ‘it’s not his fault’ and ‘the universe is cruel’.
Utter bullshit.
“You’re the trigger that caused my downfall.”
He shakes his head frantically. “No, Aoi. You know that’s not true.” He grabs my hand. “I love you and you love me.”
I yank it away and stumble backwards onto the cold concrete. I can’t stay here. I have to leave and go somewhere, anywhere. As long as it’s far away from him, I’ll be fine.
I’m like a sponge. I absorb everything around me but unlike a normal sponge, I can’t squeeze it back out. I absorb everything deep inside me and keep it in until it starts leaking, tearing, and destroying me.
But I’m done being a sponge.
I want to be the ocean. I want to be strong and free. Free of the chains wrapped around my soul, caging me like a slave, unable to escape.
A throbbing pulse savages my head and makes me wince. My shoulders are so heavy, and I just want to be embraced and weep. I want my mother to hold me and hear my father tell me it’ll be fine. I want to see my sister laugh again.
But it’s all gone.
Now there’s only death and rage.
“Speak or die.”
Jason lets out a gasp as I pull out the gun I stole from him when he lowered his guard.
I press it to his forehead.
I’m sick and fucking tired of being weak. Never again will I be weak, never again will he take away what I love.
“Aoi, wait-”
I press the steel harder against his skin and glare. “You don’t get to make demands anymore. Tell me what I want to know or die.”
His shoulders tense but a sudden grin curls on his lips. Shivers run down my spine as his dulled eyes glimmer with mischief. “You wouldn’t shoot me.”
“You don’t know that,” I say, my resolve threatening to crumble. “You don’t know me. Not anymore.”
He smiles and it’s agonizing. “You won’t shoot because I’m the only one left of your family. I’m all you have.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I have no family left. You’re a simple parasite that I need to eradicate to be free. You took my real family from me sixteen years ago.”
I can’t recognize my voice anymore. The sharpness and cold are so foreign, yet I’m immensely grateful that I’m still capable of fighting.
I can’t lose to him. I can’t let him get away without getting answers first. I need to know if Visha is here.
“Who were you talking to?” I demand, hands shaking around the gun. “Don’t you dare lie to me again.”
The shake enveloping my body won’t let me escape. I struggle against the numbness of my legs and the raggedness of my breath.
Jason sighs but doesn’t protest any further. “You seem to already know, so why bother asking?”
My lips quiver. “Where is he?”
“Why do you both ask the same damn questions?” Jason brings his hair back and scoffs. “I’ll never understand why you took in that leech of a kid. Why couldn’t you just stay with me? Wasn’t I enough for you? You even had to fall in love with him and make things harder for me.”
His obsessive tone creeps me out, and I get up in a hurry, taking a step back and almost stumbling over my feet. “What is wrong with you? You killed my family and kidnapped me and Visha, yet you still find ways to blameme?”
I’m about to lose my mind. I can feel every ounce of my sanity leave my body the more I breathe the same air as that psychopath.
