He turns his back on me and walks away. His shoulders slump as though the weight of the universe is pushing them down. And for the first time he doesn’t look like the unstoppable Aoi I’ve always known.
I see a withering jellyfish washing upon the beach. An ephemeral creature that one can admire from afar, but if one gets too close, they’ll suffer the consequences of its sting.
I’m losing him.
I thought that after all this time and my new life, I would finally be worthy of him, but maybe I was wrong. He doesn’t want me, refuses my heart, and I don’t even know what to do to fix this.
Despite that, I have to risk the stinging of his tentacles. If poison and death is all that awaits me at the end of my path, then it’s more than a blessing.
As long as he’s by my side, nothing else matters.
“Aoi, wait!” Countless heads turn toward me then to Aoi who’s rushing out of the building onto the street. “Wait!”
I run after him and grab his hand, forcing him to look at me. “I promised to follow you until the end of times. I don’t care how many times you try to run from me, I’ll keep fighting for you. Forus.”
He frowns, covering his face with his other hand. “Stop this, you’re embarrassing me. I don’t want to talk to you right now. Let me go.”
“If I let go, you’ll slip away, won’t you?” I ask, but we both know the answer. “I know something’s terribly wrong, but you won’t let me in. And I want to help you, why won’t you let me? Please, you have to talk to me!”
I can’t live without you, so please, just throw me a fragment of truth. A rope to hold on to.
“Stop it. I have nothing to tell you. Go away.” He yanks his hand away as though my flesh is aflame and dusts off his sleeve. “I don’t want to see you again.”
“What? No! Please, Aoi don’t leave me.” My voice breaks and I stagger back. “You promised.”
He loves me too. That much I know, but he’s just too scared of opening up to me and it’s driving me insane. After what happened the other night, I’m scared shitless that maybe it’s already too late.
Maybe he already figured out the truth.
Ever since that night, something is broken between us.
I reach for him, but my hand is slapped away by a dark-skinned woman. Icy eyes glare at me as Amira steps between me and Aoi. “How fucking dare you try to talk to him? Get out of our faces before I break your nose.”
“Amira,” he whispers, relieved to see her and that wrecks something in the depth of my soul.
“I already told you! I have to talk to him.” I search my Paradise’s eyes, but he stares at the floor, his fingers intertwined with hers. “Please, Aoi…”
“No!” she snaps, shoving me away. “You don’t get to come up to him and beg for forgiveness. You don’t deserve him. I fucking warned you. Now fuck off.”
They walk off toward a white car and disappear inside, not sparing me a glance as they drive off.
***
The entire week he remained in hiding and hasn’t come by the penthouse once.
I’ve been texting him every day to see how he’s doing and yet no answer. He ignores all my texts and calls. The longer we go without talking, the more I feel myself sinking into despair.
Maybe I’m delusional and maybe hedoeshate me. Maybe it’s just all in my head and he never felt the same. I’m stupidly rereading every message, wondering if I said something wrong.
Me
Hey, are you okay? Can we talk?
Me
Guess you don’t want to talk. Can you at least tell me if you’re okay?
Me
