“About four hours I think?” I hold the phone away from my ear and check the time. “Yeah, four hours. I left around ten and like an idiot I ran to the first bar and once I was drunk enough, I started walking aimlessly and ended up here.”
“Here where?”
I hesitate before telling her in a strangled sigh, “Around Lake Washington.”
“Lake Washington? Honey, where exactly? The lake is massive. For all I know you could be in Seward Park. Though I don’t know how you even would’ve gotten that far.”
Her raising voice sends a pang of pain through my skull, reminding me of the indecent amount of tequila I’m running on. “Don’t yell. I’m near Deny Blaine Park. Mind you I’ve never walked as much in my life.”
“I can imagine. That’s like four miles from where you live.” I hear the sound of tap water running when she says, “Call an uber or something and go home. Never mind I’m coming. Don’t move.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll call Jason,” I assure as if I even thought about alerting him in the first place of the mess I’m in.
“You sure? Then call him the second you hang up with me, okay? And text me when you’re home or I’ll find you and whoop your preppy white ass.”
Talk about tough love. That woman could really kick my ass. “I promise.”
I’ve been making a lot of promises lately. I wonder what’s giving me the confidence that I’ll somehow manage to keep them all.
44
Visha
He’s still not back.
I bring my knees to my chest and hug them. When is he coming home?
The digital clock on the bedside tells me that it’s already past three a.m. and he’s still out there somewhere. As much as I hate the thought, I find myself hoping he’s at Jasons’ place or one of his girl friends.
As long as he’s not wandering in the cold like a homeless man, I can tolerate him being in someone else’s bed for a night. It’s my fault that he left so I can’t get mad over who he’s sleeping with.
Just come home.
I can’t sleep without him. I tried but every time I do so, I jolt awake from another nightmare and barely manage to close my eyes. If he were here, I wouldn’t be struggling.
But he’s not. And maybe he won’t come back. He’s got to be sick of me by now. First the kiss, then the lies and now the jealous fits. No one would stand as long by my side.
Our bed has never felt as cold as it does now. It’s also never been as wide and spacious either. The size of it is usually perfect for our bodies, cuddling under the sheets.
I close my eyes and reminisce the sensation of his arms around my shoulders and his fingers nonchalantly stroking myhair. His breathing and heartbeat come to my mind and with it comes the intensity of my tears suddenly bursting from my eyes.
I miss him. I just want him to come back so I can apologize. I never meant what I said. I only wanted him to be as hurt as I was. I had no idea he would genuinely get upset.
Aoi’s never seemed like the type to get mad over such baseless insults. Usually, he brushes them off because they’re lies anyway but today he left without a second thought.
I spammed his phone with texts and calls, but he hasn’t answered. Not even to tell me to fuck off.
I wish he’d just come home and scream at me. Just come home and tell me that he’s angry so I can apologize and make it right. I can’t solve anything if he refuses to see me.
I’ll choose the screaming over the silence any day.
Come home. Please. I’m sorry, I love you.
45
Visha
At five a.m., I hear the front door open and shut with a loud thud.
