I realize how being in a bustling place doesn’t make me feel surrounded at all. I love spending time with my friends, but I long to go back to the apartment and chat with Aoi.
“You seem out of it,” Liv points out.
Liam stares at Sarah with hearts in his eyes while Xander entertains us with gossip and weird stories he caught wind of.
I smile and scratch an invisible itch at the back of my nape. “Nah, I’m just tired.”
“Just tired?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Sometimes it feels like you’re not fully here with us,” she says, low enough for only me to hear.
I watch her sip on her fourth cup, smiling at our friends. They’re all too busy to notice our conversation and I’m grateful for it.
“I’m here though,” I mutter.
She turns her head towards me and the look she shoots me is a mystery. She expresses so much yet so little. Olivia pushes a strand of blonde hair behind her ear before chugging her drink.
“You’re here physically but in there,” she points at my head. “You’re somewhere else.”
My smile falters. “Aren’t you perspicacious, miss Scott?”
“I’m serious, asshole.”
She’s not wrong. I’m an asshole that’s constantly thinking about heading home to the point where I forget that I owe my friends the respect of being fully committed to them when we’re hanging out. If Olivia noticed, then the others might’ve too. They aren’t as observant as she is or at least they don’t let it show but if they do know, then I owe them a huge apology.
“Sorry. It’s rude of me to wish to be somewhere else while being with you guys. It’s not y’all though, I simply miss Aoi.”
She chuckles and pinches my arm, making me jump. “You’re in love with a grown up. That can only mean trouble. You know that. But I guess it’s alright as long as he doesn’t like you back, ‘cause that’d be sick.”
Yeah, I know but what am I supposed to do? My heart is his to love and his to shatter. He bewitched me wholly and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
“Is it so wrong that I really want him to love me back?”
“Of course not.” She props her foot up and leans her chin on her knee. “You’re crushing on someone and shit like that happens all the time. You just happened to fall for the one person you shouldn’t have. You unlucky, dumbass.”
“No shit. Thanks for the support by the way. I love being reminded that I’m dumb.”
She scrunches her nose at my sarcasm. “What do you have planned? You can’t just internally pray for him to one day reciprocate your feelings, you know.”
“I don’t know.” I chug my drink and wince at the taste. “Fuck, this shit tastes disgusting.”
“You’re just a baby.”
“No, you’re just a teen alcoholic.”
She raises her fist and grins. “See this? I’m gonna punch you. Brace yourself, fucker.”
I lift my hands up to cover my face and laugh. “Violence is never the answer.”
“You’re right. It’s the question and the answer’s yes.”
“Not the face! How can I charm my future husband if you ruin my handsome face?”
“Gosh, you’re so full of yourself.”
“Can you two pay attention for a minute?”
