Damnation unleashes upon me, tearing me apart and stuffing me with misery. I scream and trash against the devil, in vain.
God can’t save me.
Godwon’tsave me.
I can’t even count how many times during that entire year I prayed for someone to barge into that house and haul me out of that infected hole. No one listened and answered my prayers. No one came and the agony resumed, day after day without ever ending.
If there’s a god, then he’ll have to seek forgiveness from me. He’ll have to beg every child that like me hears the symphony of evil curse through their veins when they drift to sleep.
My soul is tainted, spoiled, rotten from the hands of evil incarnate. This may now only be a nightmare, but it was once reality. Here I could soil my hands and grant myself the justice that the false God won’t.
“Look at me, you maggot,” he croaks, grinning ear to ear.
His roots plunge into my soil, infecting the ground with his poison. Pain shrieks from my being. I’m tarnished, sullied, marked by the hand of Man.
Man’s sin. Man’s life.
His tragedies become my punishment. His joy becomes my salvation. But from my hands, the hands of a sullen child deprived of light and oxygen for too long comes avengement. Even if justice is only given to me in a dream, even if I have to cower in fear of his claws latching onto my flesh. Here, I can serve retribution. Here, I am powerful. This ismymind, my power, my choice.
And I choose to fight back. I choose to find the gate to the light. I have the power to get home to Aoi. I am more than myfears, more than my pain. He didn’t break me because I can’t be broken.
I’m going home.
“Get. Off.”
“You think you can get rid of me that easily? If you could have it already would’ve happened. No one is coming to save you. You’re trapped with me for eternity, and you will learn to love it.”
“Never!” I shout. “You will never torment me again! This ends here.”
A blinding light shines brighter than a thousand suns and his screams reverberate against the walls as though his flesh is burning until all that’s left are ashes. I gape at the drifting particles of what was the body of the monster plaguing my life and sigh.
It’s over. Never again will he touch me. My body belongs to me and only me. I’m back to being a cloud floating out of reach, but my sun is waiting for me.
His spread arms are merely a decision away. Therefore, I consciously wrap my fingers around the thread that binds me to him and let it lead me back to where my soul belongs.
Back tohim.
My universe, my God, my Aoi.
22
Aoi
Yearning for kindness and innocent affection, I reach for his cheek, but he pins my hand down.
Instead of the soft kiss I wish he’d place on my lips, he slides his tongue over the teeth mark and licks the blood away. “You had it coming. Why speak about that boy when your lips should only mention my fucking name?”
Jason’s fingers unclasp my pants, taking hold of my throbbing member.
I gasp, arching my back into him. “I’m sorry but this is actually importa-”
“Are youtryingto piss me off?” he cuts me off, painfully tightening his grip.
My heartbeat is a ragged mess, and he starts stroking my cock. “No…I-”
His stroking becomes rougher and faster. I can’t utter a word, only breathless gasps and moans reverberate. Why can’t he listen to me for a second?! He unties his tie and wraps it around the base of my length, tying it securely enough to act as a barrier.
“Don’t talk to me about that brat,” he snarls, flashing his amber irises in irritation.
