Her gaze lifts to the ceiling.
“I relate to what you said, though. There’s always been this feeling inside me... that I don’t belong here. That something is waiting for me—something I already chose. I swear my heart remembers a story my brain was forced to forget.”
I stay silent, but my soul howls.
“The closest thing I’ve ever felt to being in love was what I felt for Anna. I loved her more than anything in this world.”
I panic. I know her sister died, but I don’t know the details, and I’ve never known how to ask.
“Do you want to talk about it?
She doesn’t say anything, but her fingers stop petting me, her breath goes shallow. I feel it before she says anything, the way her whole body closes in around the memory.
She nods.
Thrahk, way to go.Vel’saev...kai’morin ves’thral.(Gods damn it, I'm breaking what's mine.)
“We don’t have to. There’s no rush,Saelûn.Whenever you’re ready.”
“Two years ago, on New Year’s Eve,” she sniffles. “My sister was spending the night at my house, while our parents were out partying—it’s what they did best. There was a fifteen-year age difference between us.
“I always felt like Anna was more of my daughter than my sister. I changed her diapers, fed her, and helped with her homework.
“When I turned eighteen, I left, but I couldn’t go too far, because Anna needed me... needed someone who loved her.”
My stomach drops hearing the pain in her voice.
“As Anna got older, she chose to be at my house any chance she could. Legally, she lived at home with my parents, but in reality, she was never there for more than a few hours at a time.
“We had planned to have a game night, watch some scary movies, and eat junk food until midnight. I had worked a twenty-four-hour shift the day before, and I was already lagging around nine o’clock, but it was so important to Anna that we took a selfie at exactly twelve—it was our tradition.
“I was actively dozing off at ten-thirty, but I made it to midnight... for her.”
At this point, there are so many tears flowing, I don’t know what to do.
“I told her I couldn’t keep my eyes open after taking our picture. We snuggled up in my bed, and I fell asleep listening to her giggle over K-pop TikToks.
“I woke up a few hours later to run to the bathroom, and as soon as I opened my eyes, I knew something was wrong. I felt groggy and realized I was lying in something thick and warm.
“I looked down and saw blood... everywhere. At first, I thought it was mine. I thought I was hurt, but the pain never came.
“I looked over to my side, and that’s when I saw Anna. She was already gone, her fingers still clutching my shirt like even death couldn’t convince her to let go.”
Etra’nai... thal’sae kai’morin. No... sacred one, mine to protect. If the gods gave me a chance to drag the soul of the man who did this from whatever pit he’s rotting in... I’d do it bare-handed, just so she could watch me rip it apart for her.
“I screamed. I begged. I prayed to every God I never believed in to bring her back. I blamed myself—I still do. I’ll never understand why I didn’t wake up.
“My sister was brutally murdered while she was lying next to me, and I didn’t even stir?”
My claws press into my palms. I can’t look away from her. At this point, she’s crying more than talking. I want to hold her tighter, but I don’t want her to stop. She needs to get this out.
“By the time the cops came, I had lost the only thing I ever cared about. I was completely numb. They kept insinuating that Anna had let the murderer in. I desperately tried to tell them that Anna was the kind of person who wouldn’t even walk to the bathroom by herself after watching a scary movie.
“There is no way that she opened the door for some stranger after midnight. They told me there were no signs of forced entry. Over the next few months, I called twice a day for updates, butthe case seemed to grow colder day by day. So I took matters into my own hands.”
Veylrûn. Thrahking veylrûn. (Bastard. Fucking bastard.)
I brush her tears with the back of my hand. “You didn’t fail her,” I whisper. “You were the only one who didn’t.”
