“I am,” I step closer. “Because next time, I might not make it in time. And I can’t—” My voice breaks. “I can’t lose you again.”
Her damp hand finds my arm, and she pulls me into the steam. The bond snaps so taut between us, it nearly drops me to my knees.
She’s naked, andkaemorin.But someone out there wants to hurt her.
The two truths war inside me—one demanding I claim. The other demands I kill.
I rip myself away before I give in, stumbling toward the hallway.
“Get dressed,Saelûn. I need to check the perimeter.”
She makes no attempt to move. Ignoring me completely.
“Lumi, did you hear me?”
“I don't understand,” she says. I spin to face her. “You want me, but you won’t touch me. We’re fated mates, but every time we get close, you stop it.”
“Do you think this is easy for me?” My voice comes out rougher than I intended. “You think I want to stop?”
“Then don’t.”
I take one step. Then another. Until her heat is burning against my skin.
“There is nothing I want more, in this world or the next, than to claim you.” I lower my head, voice barely a rasp. “But I will not put my desire ahead of your safety. I would burn the world down to keep you safe.”
“You’re scared of what will happen if the bond takes over, but I’m not,” she blurts as I turn to walk away.
This sweet, stubborn human has no idea what it requires for our bond to be sanctified by the gods.
I can’t claim her in this form, in this room, or while a monster watches from the dark. The first time must be in my true form, in the sacred mating circle in the forest. When the bond snaps fully into place, it’ll throw her into heat for days, weeks, maybe. That’s if she follows Rhavari rules, which she clearly doesn't. I can already scent her heat stirring. We waited too long, and now she's going to suffer for it. Her eyes are still locked on mine when she drops her towel to the floor. My gaze drags down her body: neck, breasts, hips, thighs?—
Thalûn, hold me, or I will brand her with mykaevûnright here and now.
I tear my eyes away.
“Put something on, Lumi,” I rasp, “before I do something neither of us will be able to stop.”
She doesn’t move. Just stands there defiantly.
“Lumi,” I warn.
She ignores me.
With a curse under my breath, I snatch the towel from the floor and wrap it around her. My hands shake as I tuck it in, fists trembling where they graze her skin.
“Clothes. Now.” I guide her toward the bedroom, one hand on the small of her back—the only place I dare to touch. “Hat, boots, and coat. It’s cold outside.”
Thrahk, I hate this.
I hate the way her eyes dim when I don’t touch her. I hate the confusion in her voice when she asks why I keep stopping. I hate that I sound like a cold bastard when all I want is to give her everything.
But there’s a monster out there who wants to hurt her, and I will not let my desperation be the reason she’s exposed. So I’ll be the wall she crashes into. The silence she misunderstands. I’ll be the one who says no—even if it kills me.
I’d carve my own heart out if it meant hers stayed beating.
She can hate me later. At least she’ll be alive to hate me.
I scent the rejection curling from her skin as she dresses behind me. It burns my nose like acid.
