“Come finish what you started!”
Another sound escapes my throat. She doesn’t understand. She thinks I’m the monster who killed her enemy. She doesn’t see that I’m the monster who wants to save her.
“You took him from me,” she says, softer now. Her voice cracks. Tears freeze where they fall on her cheeks. “So you might as well take the rest.”
She spreads her arms wide, surrendering herself.
“Take me too.”
The forest goes silent, waiting for me to decide—even my heartbeat stills.
She’s not asking for me to kill her. She’s asking me to end her. To take away the unbearable weight of surviving when she doesn’t want to anymore.
Thalûn knows I want nothing more than to gather her up and carry her somewhere safe where she can forget she ever wanted to die.
Her arms drop.
She waits two more breaths, staring into the dark where she knows I’m hiding.
Hoping I’ll answer.
Begging me to.
And when I don’t—something on her face breaks. The fight drains out of her shoulders, and she turns away.
5
SAFE WITH ME
Lumi-
I thought when I screamed into the forest, daring whatever’s out there to come get me, that I meant it. But now, standing in the unnerving silence that has swallowed my words whole, I’m not so sure. My body’s finally catching up to what my mind already knew:there’s nothing left to fight for. I wrap my arms around myself, as if that could hold the ache in.
What was I thinking? That killing Mark would bring Anna back? That revenge could sew the gaping wounds in my soul shut and make me whole again?
I blink hard, forcing my tears back. I didn’t come here to fall apart, but some part of me has already shattered somewhere between the scream and the silence—between what I wanted andwhat I got.
The adrenaline drains out of me all at once, and suddenly I feel everything. My boots are soaked through, snow melting into my socks. My fingers have gone numb, and the cold sinks deeper with every labored breath. I’ve been out here too long. The forest no longer looks like a battlefield; it looks like a graveyard.
I need to get back to the car before I become just another body this forest claims.
Move, Lumi. Just move.
But the questions ring louder than my survival instinct.
Why Anna and not me?
Why didn’t I wake up that night?
Why Mark? Why tonight?
Who got to him first?
The thoughts spiral faster than I can shove them down. My chest constricts painfully. It feels like something is crawling down my throat, squeezing my ribs, until the air is too thick to breathe. I press a hand to my sternum, trying to force out a full breath, but my heart is pounding too fast, or maybe too slow. I can’t tell anymore. The rhythm is erratic, like it’s forgotten how to beat properly.
What is happening to me?
I’ve had anxiety before. I’m no stranger to sleepless nights, racing thoughts, or the overwhelming sense of dread that never quite goes away. But this feels different. This isn’t worry—this is my body giving up.
