“What was your first kiss like?” Sophie asks.
That was not what I thought she was thinking. “Did you just ask me about kissing anothergirl?”
“Why wouldn’t I ask you? We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Is that what we are?”
“You tell me. I wouldn’t say we were anything else.”
That makes it clear there should be no kissing.
“Like enemies,” she adds awkwardly.
“Why would we be enemies? Did you not like me?”
She looks at me quickly, and turns away. “Of course I liked you.”
The thing is, I’m pretty sure Sophie liked me before. Not like this; there was none of this where we’re comfortable and quiet and at ease. I think she might have had a crush on me.
And then I’m pretty sure she didn’t. She stopped. By the time the car had crashed into Sophie, her heart had recovered from whatever I unintentionally did to it.
This time, it was intentional, and I am not proud of that.
“You like everybody,” I say.
“No, I don’t.”
“Name one person you dislike,” I challenge.
And Sophie has to think about it, like I knew she would have to. “Nathalia, who used to work at Coffee for the Sole,” she finally comes up with. “She wasn’t a very nice person.”
“Is that the one Fen got fired? If so, I think she’s the one who told the police I was a dangerous driver.”
I hold my breath. This is getting into dangerous territory. Sophie hasn’t mentioned the accident in weeks, and I didn’t want to bring it up. Like when two people cheat on an exam, and only one gets caught.
There could be a lot of emotions, and I am not trained in any way to deal with emotions.
I don’tthinkSophie blames me for incapacitating her for almost four weeks with broken toes, but I don’tknowfor sure unless I were to ask her.
Which I don’t want to do. Not now.
“We’re friends,” I assure her.
I didn’t have to woo her. I just needed to make her my friend.
“You sound like you’re not sure.”
“Sure. I’m sure.”
She laughs. “And now you sound like it’s not a good thing.”
“It’s a good thing.” I think I sound a little too enthusiastic. “Women don’t want to be my friend.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve got Lavinia—”
“I dated her.”
It’s so natural that Sophie knows who my friends are. She’s asked, I’ve told her stories, and she’s even talked to Basher on FaceTime when I was out of the room.
