Ashton catches me.
His arms grab my waist, swathed in my heavy sweater, but I still feel the heat of his hands.
And then I kind of lean into him, and his arms go all the way around me.
My head rests on his chest, another sweater, this time soft enough to be cashmere. It’s a dark red, hugging his shoulders the way I am now hugging him.
He smells of money.
It’s not actually money, but Ashton’s scent is of expensive things. Leather, and tobacco leaves, like an exclusive gentlemen’s club but with hints of vanilla, and maybe cocoa?
Like a cup of hot chocolate made with expensive chocolate and real milk being served in a gentlemen’s club with books lining the wall and fantastic art to look at.
I have no idea of the cologne, but it works for me. Or maybe it’s a type of bodywash. Something more than deodorant.
Seconds tick into minutes, and I realize I’m still holding him, my arms wrapped around his waist, nose buried in his sweater.
And Ashton’s arms are still around me, one of his hands slowly stroking my back like he did when we danced.
One of my crutches clatter to the floor as I clutch the back of his sweater. And still, we stand there, pressed tightly together. I feel the rise and fall of Ashton’s chest, hear the beat of his heart.
It seems very fast for a heartbeat.
In the fireplace behind us, the log catches with a loudcrackle, and the spellis broken.
“That should keep you warm enough tonight,” Ashton says.
I nod as I pull away, reluctantly letting go of his warmth, wondering if he means the fire or the hug.
The fire hisses, yellow-orange and red flames dancing as Ashton quickly says goodnight, firmly shutting the door after him. The fire will keep me warm tonight, which is good because I suddenly feel cold from the way he left.
And I shouldn’t be feeling like that. I shouldn’t be feeling anything at all.
18
Ashton
Thathug…Ididn’texpect it. I didn’t even want it, if I’m being honest. Sophie is—
I’m not sure what she is. A means to an end? That’s rough, even for me. Someone I need to stay on her good side? That is true.
Someone I’m starting to care about?
Also may be true.
When she leaned against me, trusted that I would hold her up, it was… there was a jolt. It was like the rush I would get from starting the engine of a new car. So much uncertainty. The unknown of what would happen, so many ways I could mess it up, but I wouldn’t because I was too good at driving.
The excitement.
There was a rush like that when I hugged her, caught her in my arms and pulled her close.
It was something… something I don’t know how to describe.
It was like the first time when Mera—
Why am I thinking of Mera? Why would I even begin to compare the two? Mera was beautiful and sophisticated and sexy, poised and graceful and Sophie—
Sophie has been wearing her pajamas this entire week and not caring at all who sees her with her hair looking a mess. Today wasthe first day she got dressed in something other than sleepwear, and it was only leggings and a sloppy sweater. And she didn’t care about what she looked like when everyone showed up.
