“She is, but she’s probably in bed by now.”
His brow furrows, and he glances at the clock above the bar that reads eight p.m.
“She’s four.”
His eyes snap to mine at that announcement, but he doesn’t interrupt. Just lets me keep going.
“I didn’t know at first,” I say. “Met her mom out there in Vegas. She was a dancer at a club. I was a bouncer. We had fun. Briefly. Got drunk together. Got naked. And she got gone by Monday morning. By the time she found me again and told me she’d gotten knocked up that weekend, Ruby was already three years old.”
“What happened?”
“She wasn’t the same girl. Addiction had gotten ahold of her.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, damn.”
“Did she come to you for help?”
I shake my head. “Not for herself at least. I fed her and gave her forty dollars for her next fix,” I say simply. “And she gave me our daughter.”
Caison swears under his breath. “That’s a good thing.”
“You think? Fuck, I was barely more suitable to have her than her mother was. I was working security at a casino at night.Drinking all the time. Gambling away all my money. Bouncing from relationship to relationship.”
“Shit,” he mumbles under his breath.
“I was in a dumpy studio apartment in a seedy spot outside of Old Vegas. Not that I cared. I was enjoying life. It worked for me, but it was no place for a kid.”
He finishes his beer and orders us both a water as I forge on with my sordid tale.
“Last week, I gave my notice, and I packed up what I could,” I continue. “Swallowed my pride. And came home. Because she deserves something solid. Something better.”
He nods slowly. “You did the right thing.”
I hope he’s right. I hope I don’t screw this up the way I screw up everything else.
We sit there, beers empty, jukebox humming, the weight of the past and the future balanced precariously between us.
“How did Holland and Priscilla react when you showed up on their doorstep with a kid?” he asks.
I chuckle. “Exactly how you’d imagine. Momma was thrilled and overwhelmed by tears of joy. Pop was damn near about to explode or keel over from a heart attack.”
“I bet.”
“But it won’t take long for Ruby to wrap him completely around her little finger.”
“And you?”
“Oh, I’m sure he’d just as soon kick me out on my ass than look at me, but he won’t. What he will do though is serve me a big ol’ slice of humble pie by having me muck stalls.”
“Eh, a little hard work ain’t gonna kill you,” he teases.
“Nah, I’d eat horse shit if it meant Ruby had a safe place to call home for once. And her very own bedroom to boot. I guess they aren’t ready to share Crissy’s though.”
Pain slides through me as I think of the big, beautiful pink room that sits across the hall from mine, upstairs in my parents’ house. Untouched by time.
Caison’s eyes drop to the glass of water in his hand.
