“Nope, not at all.”
“He didn’t force you to do anything, did he?” Matty asks, standing to her feet.
“No. No. Nothing happened that I didn’t want to happen. I was very into it. But it lasted all of a few minutes once he got my pants off. And when it was over, he said, ‘sorry,’ and walked back to his party. I walked all the way home and crawled into bed with Harleigh and cried all night.”
Matty’s voice sharpens. “That son of a bitch took advantage of you.”
“No,” I say immediately. “I wanted him. I guess I just had this fantasy built up in my mind and thought it would mean something. That it would matter to him.”
“The first time always disappoints,” Charli mutters as her arm comes around me. “Mine was in the back of Gary Black’s pickup. It took all of ten seconds for him to come, and I barely felt a thing other than sticky afterward. But he still walked around like a peacock for a week, thinking he’d rocked my world.”
Matty shakes her head. “Ew, Charli,” she mutters.
“What? It’s true. What about you? Was your first time all that great?”
Matty shrugs. “I thought it was. Better than you two for sure.”
“So, tell us,” Charli insists. “We want all the sordid deets—where, when, who.”
“It’s not that interesting. I was eighteen and apparently a late bloomer,” she says, giving Charli a pointed smile. “And it was at the cabin that you and Bryce currently occupy.”
Charli groans. “Ugh, Carl? Your first time was with Carl?”
Carl Teague was the operations manager here at the ranch for years. He and Matty began dating about six months after he was hired on, and three years later, they were engaged. They never made it down the aisle though. Thank God.
“Yep. Cooked me dinner, bought me flowers. There was music and wine. It was nice.”
“Boring,” Charli sings before focusing back on me. “Did Waylon at least apologize for walking off like that?”
“Nope. The next day, he was at the diner with Heather Cooke … and he acted like nothing had happened. A week later,” I finish, “he left town, and that was that.”
Matty’s hands clench. “I’m going to kill him.”
That makes me laugh. “Matty, it was eight years ago.”
“I don’t care how long ago it was.”
“See, this is why I never told you. I didn’t need a mother to go on a tear and threaten to kill him. I needed a big sister to let me cry on her shoulder.”
Silence settles over us, broken only by the fire and the wind.
Charli lays her head on my shoulder. “You’re absolutely allowed to punch him in the nuts if the mood strikes you.”
That makes us all giggle.
Matty’s eyes shine. “I’m sorry you had that experience.”
I shrug, even though it still stings a little. “It was a long time ago. I’m over it. We were young and stupid.”
“Are you over it though?” Matty asks.
“Yep. I mean, so what? My childhood crush didn’t turn out to be the Prince Charming I had built him up to be in my head. Most aren’t. It’s not a big deal. And it doesn’t matter anyway. He’ll probably be gone again next week.”
“Fuck him,” Charli says, raising her glass.
I sit up and raise mine too. “Fuck him.”
Matty rolls her eyes but follows suit.
