Dallas
Six Years Ago
Sweet Jesus, this little monster is ripping his way out of me. I’ve never felt pain like this before. When he finally makes it, he’s getting his first time-out for trying to take all his momma’s insides with him as he exits my body.
“Breathe, Dallas,” Momma coaxes.
I tightly squeeze her hand as another contraction hits me like a freight train. The pain shoots down my spine and explodes in my pelvis.
“Iambreathing, Momma,” I scream.
“No, you’re not, sweetheart,” she says gently.
I cut my eyes to her and bite through gritted teeth. “Yes. I. Am.”
“Whoa, I think her head spun around on that one. Did you hear that demon inside her?”
I whip my head around to my stupid brother, Payne, who has his iPhone pointed directly at me.
Why in the hell did I agree to have him in the room while I expelled a human torture device from my vagina?
“You shut the hell up and remember to stay north of the Mason–Dixon Line with that thing, asshole,” I spew in his direction.
He just grins at me.
“Payne, dear, I think we might have to switch.”
Momma is gently trying to tug her hand from my death grip. Her expression is one of intense pain, and the tips of her fingers are starting to turn purple. I let go as the contraction eases, and she hurries back from my bedside.
“Sure thing, Momma. I can handle it,” Payne says as he hands the phone off to our mother. He plops down in the seat beside me and raises his right arm to me in an arm-wrestling challenge.
The doctor looks up from between my legs and pipes in, “He’s crowning.”
“Well, it’s about time. I thought he had decided to stay in there until college,” I spit out just as another contraction starts to ripple through me.
I grab hold of Payne’s hand and nearly stand up in the bed. He starts trying to play thumb war with me, and I reach over and grab his thumb with my other hand and bend it back as hard as I can.
“Shit!” he yells. “I think you broke my thumb. That hurt like hell.”
“Oh, really? Is a head the size of a bowling ball trying to break its way out of your pee hole? No? Then, suck it up, pansy-ass!”
“Children. Let’s be nice. We don’t want the baby watching his birth video and hearing you two cursing and fighting,” Momma interjects.
“Give me one more big push, Dallas,” the doctor commands before I can release my wrath on my mother.
Payne stands and grabs my hand harder. “Come on, sis. You’ve got this. Little man is almost here. One, two, three …” hecounts as I bear down as hard as I can and push with all the strength I have left.
“He’s out,” the nurse excitedly announces just as I hear the first soft cry ring through the room.
“Oh my goodness, he’s perfect!” Momma cries as I try to muster the energy to raise my head and look at him.
Before I have a chance, the doctor asks if anyone wants to cut the cord. I look up at Payne, and he is pale as a ghost.
Momma lays her hand on my shoulder and steps around to the doctor. “I do,” she says tearfully.
A few seconds later, a gooey, bald bright red mess of screaming baby is laid on my chest.
His eyes are closed, and he is unhappy.
