I wasn’t that type. I was the type niggas lost sleep over, the type niggas argued with the barber because they needed a haircut at ten at night just to come see me. I was the type niggas brought plane tickets for after a week.
Kay’Lo had sex with me like a man who wanted more, so how the hell was he this quiet?
I clicked back to his page, but there was still nothing. Then I clicked back to hers, but there was nothing.
I tossed my phone beside me and sat up slow, letting my hair fall over my shoulders. I caught my reflection in the floor-length mirror across the room and for a second I just stared at myself. My skin looked smooth and golden in the soft lamp light. My lips were still plush and slightly swollen from biting them earlier. My body looked like I oiled it for a photo shoot, so a nigga like Kay’Lo should’ve been losing his mind over me.
A sharp, stubborn little voice whispered,girl, please. Ain’t no way he forgot what you gave him.
I exhaled and pushed up from the mattress. I needed to get out this damn apartment before I spiraled again.
Dream had been texting me for the past hour talking about we going out tonight. I slid into my closet and let myself pick anoutfit that matched how I wanted to feel instead of how I actually felt.
I reached for the short black mini dress with the open back and the subtle shimmer that made my skin glow like I was lit from inside. The fabric hugged my hips like it already knew the shape.
After showering, I stepped into it and pulled it up slow, adjusting it so it laid just right across my ass. Then I grabbed my thin gold waist chain and clipped it gently, letting it rest against my flat stomach.
I sat at my vanity and did my makeup with a heavy hand because I needed to feel like me. Of course, I had the glossy lips, dramatic lashes, smooth bronzed cheekbones and glittered body oil across my collarbone so the light caught me every time I moved. Soft curls fell down my back with my baby hairs laid just the way I liked.
When I stood up again, I stared at my full reflection and felt a little better. I looked like a woman niggas should weep over.
I clicked my tongue in annoyance and refused to let that thought sit too long.
I grabbed my phone, opened Instagram again, and hovered over his DMs. My thumb was right there, ready to type some cute little “hey stranger” message, but my pride screamed no.
He was supposed to hit me up, to want more and to remember that I left that penthouse dripping and shaking.
I locked my phone and tossed it onto the bed before I betrayed myself.
“I’m that bitch,” I told my reflection. “If he don’t call, that’s his loss.”
I forced myself to smile, grabbed my keys, sprayed my favorite perfume across my neck and wrists, and headed for the door.
Tonight I was gon’ try to take my mind off him.
At the same time, I wanted Kay’Lo Mensah to want me, and the fact that he hadn’t called yet was driving me insane.
DRAHMA TOWN
After the valet grabbed my car, I strutted through the parking lot of the club with Dream and Mia, letting the night air move around my legs while we walked like we owned the whole block.
Every nigga in the lot watched us walk in, and I didn’t even have to look their way to know it. I could feel it on my skin. I could feel it in the way conversations stopped and eyes followed the sway of my hips. Dream whispered something slick about the way they were staring and Mia laughed behind her hand, but I kept walking because attention wasn’t new to me. It wasn’t special or something I had to work for.
Whatwasnew was the fact that I even cared enough to be here, in the same club Kay’Lo celebrated his birthday in last week, pretending this was just a regular night out. But I wasn’t fooling myself. I knew why I brought my ass here. I was hoping the universe would throw him at me again, and that he’d pop up from behind a section and remind me why I still couldn’t get him out my damn head.
The music hit the moment we stepped inside, vibrating through the floor and rising through my heels. The lights washed over us in pinks and blues, and the whole place smelled like liquor, cologne and money. A nigga brushed past me just so he could tell me I looked too good to be walking around without somebody holding my hand, and I smiled in his face like hehad a chance. He asked me what I was drinkin’ and before I even answered he snapped at a waitress and told her whatever I wanted was on him.
“Thank you,” I said, touching his arm lightly because men like him didn’t need much to feel chosen. He grinned wide and damn near melted.
Dream and Mia were already laughing because they knew exactly what I was doing. I wasn’t here for nobody’s son. I was here because my ego was bruised and my pride needed attention. These niggas were fillers. They were background noise. They were the kind of niggas who looked at me like I was a fantasy, and usually that was enough to entertain me, but tonight it was just a distraction from the fact that Kay’Lo still hadn’t hit my line.
We made our way to the section, the same one he had been in last week, and the bottle girls flocked to us like they always did because they knew we tipped and we looked good. The table was stocked with liquor before we even sat down and niggas gathered around trying to get close, throwing compliments, asking names and offering shots.
I smiled, laughed, smirked and teased. I leaned in close when a nigga said something funny and let him think I cared. I let him think he had my attention even though he didn’t have a piece of it.
A different nigga reached for Dream’s hand and she pulled away playfully, telling him he had to buy another round first. Mia was already bent over laughing at some corny joke a dude told her, and I let myself lean back on the couch, letting the lights flicker over my body while the music pumped through my chest.
I danced in the section with my girls, letting my hips move, letting the liquor warm me and letting my hair fall down my shoulders while the DJ switched into one of my favorite songs.We all screamed the lyrics together with our hands in the air, and even though niggas were watching, I didn’t need their eyes to feel lit. I was already lit and I was already that girl.
