I smiled slowly, looking at his page one more time.
“Yeah,” I whispered to myself. “I’m not done with you.”
And I meant it too.
Toni was out of her fuckin’ mind if she thought she was gon’ divorce me, and I was already on the way to her to let her know that shit.
A few minutes ago, I walked out the penthouse with my mind burnin’ hot as hell ‘cause that text she sent wasn’t makin’ no sense to me.
I wasn’t even thinkin’ about Echo. She wasn’t nothin’ but a warm body in a nice room and I knew that from the jump. She looked good and she moaned loud and she threw that shit back like she had somethin’ to prove, but the whole time I was fuckin’ her all I could think about was how this wasn’t Toni.
I ain’t even fuck that girl like how I fuck my wife. I ain’t touch her how I touch Toni. I ain’t feel shit for her. Hell, I was smart enough to put on a condom ‘cause my dick knew better than my damn emotions.
Echo was bad as fuck. I give her that. Most niggas probably lose they damn mind over her but not me. I knew her type the moment she walked her ass into that section. She was pretty, confident, spoiled and used to gettin’ whatever the fuck she want ‘cause niggas fold quick. And I’m not about to let no new bitch think she got me by the nuts. Toni was already hittin’ a nigga where it hurt and that shit had me fucked up enough.
It ain’t been nothin’ but three weeks but it felt like three damn years since I seen my wife. It was three weeks of sleepin’ in a cold bed without her. Three weeks of lookin’ at the door hopin’ she walk in. It was three weeks of wantin’ her so bad my damn stomach hurt. But she wanted to act like she ain’t need me, like she could breathe without me and like she wasn’t the same woman who used to fall asleep on my chest every damn night. She held her pussy hostage for damn near a month so yeah, a nigga like me was gon’ poke somethin’. I ain’t proud of it but I’m real about it.
Still, Toni was wild textin’ me about divorce. Divorce ain’t even exist in my vocabulary. She was the woman I married, the woman I done begged for kids with. She was the one I gave my last name to. I ain’t give a fuck what we was goin’ through. Break up? Maybe. Cool off? Sure. Divorce? Fuck no.
I drove through our gate and parked crooked. I hopped out the car, and went straight inside.
My heart was beatin’ too hard and it pissed me off ‘cause she always fuckin’ had me like this.
I walked through the livin’ room, checked the kitchen, called her name once, but the house was too damn quiet. So I took my ass upstairs ‘cause the silence felt wrong.
The bedroom door was cracked. I pushed it open and froze before both my feet even crossed the threshold.
Toni was curled up on her side with her face turned into the pillow, her shoulders shakin’. She ain’t hear me at first, ‘causeshe was too busy cryin’. It was that cry that make ya body curl up on instinct. She heard the door move and snapped her head up fast, her eyes red and puffy, and she tried to turn away but I already saw everything. I saw the hurt, and the betrayal. It was a pain I never wanted to be responsible for.
For a second I just leaned my shoulder against the frame and looked at her ‘cause pride will make a man stall out even when his heart is crackin’. I ain’t wanna rush her and I ain’t wanna look like I was foldin’. So I kept my voice calm.
“Wussup with all this divorce shit you textin’ me about?”
She wiped her face like she hated herself for lettin’ me see her cry. She wouldn’t look at me. She breathed deep like she was tryna force her body to calm down but her tears kept fallin’. I pushed off the door and walked to the bed ‘cause I couldn’t pretend I ain’t see her hurtin’.
I sat next to her and she turned her face away more.
“Did you hear me?” I asked, softer now. “Where the fuck all this divorce talk come from?”
“Leave me alone, Kay’Lo,” she whispered. Her voice was scratchy from cryin’. “Just go.”
“Nah. You not gon’ hit my phone with some wild ass shit and expect me to walk away like I don’t care. What’s all that supposed to mean?”
“You shouldn’t give a fuck about no divorce,” she said through tears. “You already fuckin’ somebody anyway.”
My jaw flexed but I ain’t answer right away ‘cause I needed to know who the hell been runnin’ they mouth.
“Who told you that?” I finally asked. “Was it Pluto?”
She rolled her eyes hard, like I insulted her intelligence. “No. Pluto didn’t tell me nothing. I just saw some shit.”
I didn’t know if I believed her. Pluto mind her business and she don’t bring drama but her and Toni real close. Still,somethin’ about the way Toni refused to even look in my direction had me focusin’ on the pain more than the lie.
Her whole face was a deep red. Her lashes was clumped from tears, and that vein in her forehead was pressed up thick like her head hurt from thinkin’ too much.
“Instead of takin’ this time to get yo’ shit together,” she said low, “you ran to another bitch.”
I ain’t deny it but I ain’t address it either ‘cause I didn’t know how the fuck to talk about somethin’ that didn’t mean shit to me.
