A few minutes later, the bedroom door opened slow. I lifted my head just enough to see Reni walk in wearin’ a red silk robe that hung open just enough to show the sexy red shit she had underneath. My whole body reacted before my mind caught up ‘cause she looked like she belonged in the sheets with me, in my hands and in my life altogether. She was holdin’ a plate thatlooked like a whole restaurant special, stacked with eggs, bacon, sausages, pancakes, and grits.
“Good mornin’ baby,” she said, smilin’ soft as she walked over to me.
“Good mornin’, Mama,” I said, takin’ the plate from her and leanin’ in to kiss her. She kissed me back slow, then touched the side of my face before handin’ me a freshly rolled blunt.
That shit made me grin ‘cause she really knew her nigga.
She left out the room for a second to grab her own plate, and when she came back, she sat beside me and we started eatin’ like we hadn’t touched food in days. She kept peekin’ at me too, waitin’ for me to react to how good the food was, and she ain’t have to wait long ‘cause I damn near groaned when the first bite hit my tongue.
“This fire,” I said with my mouth full, and she laughed, shakin’ her head like she knew she had done somethin’.
When we was done, she grabbed my plate like it was second nature, walkin’ around the bed with this slow sway in her hips that made me watch her the whole way. Right before she stepped out, I smacked her ass, and she shot me a look over her shoulder that had my dick jumpin’ again.
She came back a minute later with orange juice, handin’ it to me. While I sparked the blunt, she rolled. We passed it back and forth while the room filled with smoke and even though I knew I had shit to do, it was too damn easy to pretend the world ain’t exist for a minute.
But eventually reality tapped me on the shoulder.
“Baby… I gotta slide,” I said, takin’ one more pull and passin’ the blunt back to her. “I gotta be at my auntie house for some photoshoot shit she wanna do, then they havin’ brunch.”
Reni got quiet. It was that soft quiet where you know somebody got somethin’ sittin’ on their heart. I looked at her ‘cause I already knew she was thinkin’ too hard.
“Go on and say it,” I told her, leanin’ back against the headboard. “Whatever you wanna ask, just say the shit.”
She stared at her hands before lookin’ up at me. “I know so much about Kay’Lo, Pressure, all them people in your life,” she said. “But they don’t know anything about me.”
My chest got tight but I kept my voice calm. “It ain’t like that, baby.”
“It kinda is,” she said, her voice softer now. “You only talk about your people when it come to what y’all gotta do, but nobody know I exist. It feel like I’m here, but I’m not really here.”
I sat there takin’ it in, not interruptin’, ‘cause she deserved that shit. She kept goin’.
“You sure you like big girls? ‘Cause you movin’ real funny.”
That one hit me different.
I sat up straighter and shook my head slow, confused that she even thought that. “Girl, what the fuck is you talkin’ about? What the fuck yo’ weight got to do with this? I love you. I’m happy with you, and you satisfy me in every way. Ain’t nothin’ funny about the way I move with you.”
She looked away again, her voice still low. “Trust me, I ain’t insecure about shit I got goin’ on over this way. I’m just confused. And you did mention that your family kinda judgmental so… I feel like if we really together, it shouldn’t be some secret.”
“It’s not a secret,” I said immediately. “If you was a secret, I wouldn’t be out with you the way I be out with you. If I didn’t love you, ya bills wouldn’t even be in my fuckin’ face every month.”
“That’s not the point,” she whispered. “It’s deeper than that. I wanna feel included. I wanna feel like I’m part of your world, not just sittin’ on the outside hopin’ you pull me in.”
I let out a long breath and rubbed my hand over my head. The last thing I wanted was my woman feelin’ like she wasn’t enough for me, ‘cause she was more than enough. She was perfect for me in ways I ain’t even have words for yet.
I scooted closer and pulled her into my arms, kissin’ her slow ‘cause I needed her to feel what I couldn’t explain right. “I love you,” I told her against her lips. “My family crazy as hell and they a lot, but you gon’ meet ‘em. I’m not hidin’ you. I just don’t want too many niggas in my business.”
She nodded small, not fully convinced but not pushin’ me off either.
“I hear you,” she finally said.
I kissed her again and stood up to get dressed. She stayed in the bed, quiet, thinkin’ hard, and it bothered me more than I wanted to admit. I zipped my pants and walked over to her, leanin’ down so she had to look at me.
“I love you,” I whispered against her mouth before kissin’ her again. She said it back, real dry, but I took it anyway ‘cause at least she said it.
“I’ll call you,” I told her.
“You gon’ walk me to the door?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.
