My words trail off because it doesn’t really matter. I’m single, standing on cracked asphalt, pretending she wasn’t my whole world and that after a year of saying I’m over her, I’m not. “It’s not a big deal. That was a long time ago, and we’ve both clearly moved on.”
“Are you sure about that?” Jackson raises an eyebrow, “Looked to me like she was just as lovesick as you. Why else would she have to run out of the room before the meal even started?”
That hits like a check to the chest.
Could she be lovesick?
That would be great.
Not the sick part.
But the love part.
Of course, I don’t want her to be sick.
“I checked on her,” I admit, mostly to move the conversation away from the idea that either of us is still in love. “She gets fainting spells sometimes. I’m sure that’s what it was.”
“So, what’s the plan, Romeo?” Axl heckles, “You’ve got the perfect chance to tell her how you feel this weekend. You know how women get all swoony at weddings. Or are you just going to keep silently brooding?”
I scratch the back of my ear, wishing I could play it cool. Inside, my chest is collapsing. I can’t tell her how I feel. I would be just telling her I never stopped feeling. I’ve loved her every day since I met her. And every day she was gone. I’m lost without her.
“Guys, come on. We’re wasting time.” I skate back to center ice-asphalt, avoiding their eyes, ready to pretend my heart is in this game. However, it’s becoming painfully clear that my heart’s been with Koren this whole last year.
The second I unlock the front door to my parent’s beach house, the guys rush in like it’s Disney World, and we’re the first ones through the gates.
“Bro,” Jackson says, dropping his duffel while scanning the grand foyer, “you didn’t tell us you were one ofthoserich kids.”
“No wonder you’re Bill’s favorite,” Axl adds, heading straight for the French doors that open to the deck with a perfect view of the lake.
The house smells like pine cleaner, the way my mom likes it. We don’t do much entertaining here, even though the six bedrooms could handle a crowd. Mostly, I just hung out with Koren when I was here, and that was always more than enough. It was perfect.
I avoid looking at the couch, because I remember her falling asleep there with her legs on my lap. We were still in the friend stage then. I’d invited her over to watch a movie after we’d been delivering flowers all day. She stretched out, curled onto her side, and fell asleep. Without realizing it, she stretched and pushed her legs over the top of mine. My heart crawled up into my throat, and it stayed there for the rest of the movie. I was completely frozen, not wanting to wake her up.
I swallow the lump in my throat and force a grin, pointing up the staircase. “The last room at the end of the hall is my parents’, but you guys can grab the rest. There are more than enough beds for everyone.”
They scatter like kids. Tyson’s already turned on the flat-screen TV in the living room. Sam steps onto the patio, recording the view of the water with his phone. I catch snippets of their conversation:
“The Voltage are overrated.”
“You’re delusional, man.”
“Who even likes them?”
It’s loud, and stupid, but exactly the kind of conversation you’re supposed to have at a bachelor party.
I wander into the kitchen and pull open the fridge. There are a few bottles of my mom’s expensive wine, some water, and cheese she pays extra to come moldy. It’s always given me the creeps. I grab my phone and shout over the noise, “Hey guys, I’m going to order some pizzas.”
“Meat lovers,” Axl yells back.
I reach for my wallet but find it’s not in my back pocket. That’s so weird.
Shoot.
My mind flashes to earlier when I took it out, storing it in my car before my final tux fitting. My car is back at my apartment; we all piled into Axl’s truck for the drive out here.
“Everything okay?” Axl appears on the other side of the kitchen island, staring at me.
“Yeah. It’s fine.” I tap the back of my shorts again, even though I know it’s not there. “Just forgot my wallet in my car like an idiot.”
