“Okay, adorable people!” The wedding planner claps her hands together and strides to the front of the church foyer. She’swearing a beige pencil skirt and matching suit jacket that blends into her light-blonde hair. It’s like she planned her outfit to fade into the background while she bosses everyone around. She points at us with a manicured nail. “We are going to do this once and get it right. Pair off with your partner and get in line.”
I blow hot air through my nose like it’s the last minute of the third period, and I’ve been gifted an open net. I can’t decide where to look. Last night, I brought Lauren as a distraction because I didn’t think I could stomach looking at Koren. Today, it’s just me and her—standing two feet away with her arms crossed. I don’t want a distraction. I want a chance to talk to her.
I bet she did it on purpose too, pinning her hair in one of the buns I always loved most. Instantly, deep in my chest, I crave unraveling it like I used to when I teased her.
Axl and Sophie link hands, taking the first spot in line. Sam, Sophie’s brother, and his fiancée, Finley, get behind them, followed by Tyson and Jackson’s sister. Then there’s me, standing by myself.
Kaci and her mom are behind me.
The wedding planner stares at me, like she’s wondering what’s holding this up. She claps once and waves Koren forward, “Come on, sweetheart. This is your man for the next three minutes. I know it’s awkward if you don’t know each other, but it’s painless. I promise.” She takes Koren’s arm and physically entwins it with mine. An electric jolt shoots through me, emboldening and undoing me at the same time.
My body is so attuned to hers that it revolts, sending my heart over a cliff. I’m a puddle of jelly, fighting to keep a straight face.
Her scent wafts over me. Lavender. It’s always lavender.
Man, I miss that scent.
Suddenly I’m eighteen again.
My mouth tastes of cherry lip balm and teenage carelessness. The first time I tasted that was on the beach, after a bonfirebehind our summer houses. I was in a mood—already on an emotional high because of the hockey offer—and I no longer cared if I was rejected, so I took the chance. She kissed me back, then broke away, eyes pleading for answers.
My lips were numb from that first taste of her, but I managed to grin and said, “I love you.”
More clapping from the wedding planner interrupts my reverie. I’m convinced she missed her true calling as a music conductor or airline stewardess with all those hand gestures. “All right, the goal is to make it down the aisle without tripping. Gentleman, that means you’ll have to let the ladies lean on you a little. They’ll be in heels and dresses. Sometimes it gets tricky. You get through it by sticking together.”
It's too late for together.
I shake my head and refocus on the task at hand, avoiding looking directly at Koren. Holding her arm tucked safely in mine is torture enough.
“Let’s pretend the music starts.” The wedding planner hums the traditional wedding march, claps along. “Dun-dun-dun-dun, and go.” She points to Axl and Sophie, who walk forward in slow motion, then to Sam and Finley, and finally to Tyson and Jackson’s sister.
Koren and I step forward as we are next. Sweat beads on my brow, and in a nervous blunder I ask, “Are you ready?”
“To get it over with,” she hisses back.
So feisty.
She’s always been that way.
Too bad I’ve always found it adorable.
“Dun, dun, dun.” The wedding planner has switched to snapping, and she points to us. “And go!”
We take a few steps, and she calls after us, “Slower! Act like you love all the eyes on you.”
I slow my stride. The tension between us is so thick it’s like the air is polluted with static. The lavender is going to slay me. It opens a portal to an easier time when the world hadn’t torn us apart.
I remember waking up to learn she’d taken an internship in France and had left on our actual wedding day. Sure, I knew she’d planned on taking the internship, but she was supposed to leave after we got married. That was the reason we were rushing the wedding. Then suddenly she was gone and not answering my phone calls.
I begged my parents for money for a plane ticket so I could go to her. I needed to see her. To understand.
That’s when my parents told me her mom had demanded money from them and tried to blackmail them by threatening to go public with how I’d gotten my spot on the team. It would have been a huge scandal. I would have been suspended from the AHL. In the end, my parents made me realize Koren had only dated me for the spotlight.
I’d loved her all through high school, but we didn’t get together until the day I found out I’d made it to the AHL. I thought she was excited for me, but really, she just saw the dollar signs of my budding career and my family’s already blooming empire.
It hit me like a brick.
I’d been so blinded by years of pining after her, I hadn’t noticed the timing.
