“He looks like Christopher Reeve, but more distinguished.”
“Mother! He can hear you. You said that last night.”
“I didn’t say he was distinguished, did I?”
“That means old, Mother.”
“No! Does it? Well, I didn’t mean old. I’m sure he knows he’s gorgeous, honey. And he’s single?”
“Oh, my God...”
“He could be gay, Michelle,” Rob says helpfully.
Well, not helpful tome. “Nope. Not gay.”
Loretta looks at me, and damn it, I’m looking at her in a way that says my attraction is extremely specific. I like women. I like blondes. I like this beautiful, brave, blonde woman who still looks like an angel who does pin-up work on the side, even in red velour loungewear.
“I’m single because the right girl hasn’t come along, that’s all. I’m patient. I’m very patient. I’m going to wait as long as it takes for her to show up, and then I’m going to take care of her and make her the happiest woman on earth. Or at least tied for first.” I toss on a little levity at the end, but the room seems way too stuffy, way too warm.
I can smell Loretta’s scent like someone sprayed me with expensive, subtle perfume, and there are definite notes of arousal in it this time. I can hear heartbeats, hers and mine, and nothing else. Her mother’s voice is just warbling in the distance.
“Mom? Dad? I think I’m going to go to bed. It’s been a huge day.”
Her body is stressed. Sexual stimulation may be her way to relieve stress. That’s all I’m smelling, I’m sure, and even if it is anything else, it’s none of my business.
“I’ll leave you to poke around in here,” I say. “See if there is anything you want for Ari.”
I FIND HIM OUTSIDEour room, ear pressed to the door.
“She fussed once, but then she went back down,” Jasper whispers. “I probably woke her up, running around like I did. I was just so excited that I had something that you could use for her. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it earlier. I never think about that stuff.” Jasper shrugs. “Kinda forced myself not to. I thought maybe I’d have a use for it by now, but each year passes, and I don’t. It’s funny, isn’t it, how so many people put such a stigma on thirty? Like you have to be married by then?”
“I just wanted to live a simpler life than the one I grew up with, with two parents who were always working and juggling three kids. I wanted a life where I could be the wife and mom, and raise a family. Take care of my husband and my home. My kids. It’s so stupid. I realized it earlier. Matt was too young. Mattthought he was ready, but he wasn’t.Iwas. He said he wanted me to be the happy homemaker, but without any realization of what stress it would put on him.” I lean against the wall, books clutched to my chest.
“Men and women mature at different rates, they say, but then again, so do individuals. I don’t think I matured until I was in journalism classes and got sent to cover some major events in New York. It made me appreciate my little town. There’s danger here, of course, there is danger everywhere, but it made me more civic-minded, more active in the community. That was good for my maturity level. It helped me be unselfish.”
I nod and clutch the books to my chest even harder, as if the books can shield my heart from an ever-growing thought. He’s perfect for me. For us.
I’m just too late. By the time I’m divorced, settled, and ready to think about dating again, someone will have snapped him up. He’s too good not to find someone.
“You okay? Oh, no, I realize I’m keeping you from getting to bed.” Jasper backs away from the door and into his room.
“No, I’m not ready to sleep yet. I just wanted my parents to get off the spiral of embarrassing questions.” I shift the books again, wincing because the sharp edges keep finding tender spots. Ari’s hitting that 6-month growth spurt and feeling better after a week and a half of being on antibiotics and having an ear infection. She’s been wanting more milk lately, and my body is trying to keep up. Right now, I’m glad Jasper ordered me some comfy clothes so they’re baggy. The only part of pregnancy or post-partum that Matt liked was how much larger my chest was—and even then, he didn’t like the nursing aspect that caused it.
Jasper looks at me with his head tilted. “Pain killers?”
“I try not to take them. I’m just... I need to order a nursing bra.”
“Oh my gosh. I should have realized that.” Jasper smacks his head.
“You did better than almost anyone else in the world I can imagine,” I chuckle and follow him into his room.
“What helps?”
“When she nurses. Don’t worry, she’ll wake up in a couple of hours.”
“Did you find the underwear? Oh my gosh. That sounds so wrong.” Jasper hangs his head and shakes it.
“I did, carefully hidden under everything else. Very gentlemanly.”
