There’s twelve inches left between us as Tanner’s hand lifts to softly cup my cheek. Floundering, I withdraw it from my face and hold it between my palms.
“Thank you…” I wet my tongue. “You’re pretty great too.”
“I need to get something off my chest.” Tanner’s broad smile turns nervous, and after a long, awkward pause, he says, “I think I’m in love with you.”
He puffs a laugh that clouds in the air. “Man, I can’t believe I just said that. But it’s true, Kate. I’m falling in love with you.”
His huge smile is filled with somanyteeth.
I’m frozen in place, but my heart is a speeding bullet. Tannerdoesn’t loveme. He loves the version I’ve been showing him. The one that is very muchnotme.
“Kate, didn’t you hear what I just said?”
“You have nice teeth,” I blurt.
Really, Kate?
A lightbulb seems to flicker within Tanner’s gaze, and he gently brushes a strand of hair from my face. “It’s okay if you’re nervous. This… thing between us is real, but scary.”
“I’m not nervous.” I pull away, feeling a tad defensive. “I just…”
Tanner cocks his head. “You what?”
My heart races so fast that nausea rolls around like marbles.
But I can’t lie to him.
“I… don’t feel the same about you,” I whisper.
The glowing man in front of me extinguishes in an instant. His expression looks broken, but I think I glimpse a flash of annoyance before Tanner rallies.
“It’s okay, Kate. I know I fall fast. But hopefully”—he gathers my hand and brushes a kiss across my knuckles—“you’ll feel it soon, too.”
I gently retrieve my hand. “Tanner, I do think you’re an amazing guy. And you’ll make some girl very happy someday, but that girl isn’t me. I don’t feel the same way right now, and I don’t think I ever will. I’m so sorry.” I bite my lip.
Tanner takes a full fifteen seconds to respond. His eyes are turned down, but a subtle muscle pulls tight in his jaw. He offers a silent nod, then retreats toward his car. Relief trickles through me, but Tanner turns back.
“I hope you’ll change your mind, Kate.”
I force a smile, but my voice remains firm. “I’d love to stay friends, Tanner. But I don’t want you to wait around for something more to happen between us. I’m so, so sorry.”
His shoulders slump, and he gets into his car. I stand on the porch until the glowing lights of his white sedan disappear through the broken community gates.
I just crushed Tanner’s heart, and I hate myself for it. My New Year’s Resolution to find a steady, reliable love didn’t work, and now I feel worse for wear.
Despite the hot tears welling up in my eyes, I can’t deny the extra fraction of breath in my lungs as I go inside.
twenty-five
PRESENT DAY
KATE
Amantha stands at the head of the boardroom table, giving an update on the exhibition plans and about a new mural she wants to include. She’s been networking with yet another copyright owner. There’s fire in her gray eyes, and I’m so freaking proud.
Whatever worries she had about the budget cuts and scrapping her original plans seem long gone. Amantha is all in, and she commands the boardroom wearing her lucky fitted pencil skirt and ice blue silk button up.
The corners of my mouth quirk when I see Val across the table, watching his fiancée with such predatory intensity I don’t know whether to laugh or gag. Val seems to havemuchmore on his mind than Amantha’s speech, and it probably involves the janitorial closet they seem to think is invisible.
