Cameron acknowledges my parents, who are both stargazing at the happy couple.
Tanner’s silent, like he knows he doesn’t belong in this moment. I savagely hope he regrets not ditching out sooner.
“Liza. I want you for forever. I want your cheerful, off-key morning songs.”
My face falls, but I heave my cheeks back up.
Those areoursongs.We made them up to make fun of the lame ones sung at sleepaway camp each summer. I try to suck in a breath but can’t.
“I want to be the one who kills your spiders and pinches your nose while you swallow medicine,” Cameron says.
Liza lets out a watery laugh beneath shining eyes.
I’mher spider killer. And when Liza gets overtly wimpy when she’s sick,I’mthe nose pincher. How long can someone go without breathing?
The edges of my vision tilt as Cameron clutches my sister’s hand.
“Liza, make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”
Liza nods so fast I think she may sprain her neck. “Yes, Yes! A gazillion times yes!” She ignores the ring and flings herself forward, peppering him with sunshine and kisses. Cameron chuckles.
“Babe, you’re forgetting something.” He holds up the massive square-cut diamond, and Liza belly laughs the way she only does when she’s truly ecstatic. The last time I heard it was her birthday last year when I gave her a printed sweatshirt with five of my ugliest selfies plastered across it.
She wears it every time she’s sad.
The diamond skates across her finger, and she clutches her hand to her chest. I didn’t realize I was also clutching my chest, except my heart feels like a diamond crushed into powder. I hide the tremble in my hands beneath the table and grip my tights. The bite of my fingernails gives me something to focus on. Pain to ground what feels like the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had.
The room erupts in celebration, so I force a smile and stand to congratulate them. Cameron loops me into an awkward side hug that I return.
I’m so stupid. How could I not have seen this coming? They’ve been dating for over a year. They are clearly in love and want to devote their lives to each other.
Liza’s shoulder-length hair flutters in my face as she throws herself around me, and I have to pinch myself again to fight back my tears.
Out of all of us, Liza deserves her happily ever after. And Iamhappy for her!
So why do I feel like my life raft is drifting farther away while I drown?
seven
PRESENT DAY
KATE
Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp.
My bare fists smack into the heavy punching bag, but it doesn’t move. I’ve never been in this area of Pulse Fitness before. I tend to stick to the spin, yoga, and cardio classes, but the massive conglomerate also has areas for heavy lifting and kickboxing. They even have a boxing ring on risers behind me.
Checking in at the service desk was awkward, to say the least. Levi had been kind, professional in his navy polo, but his pale eyes hinted at nothing. Like his creepy texts have been nothing but casual conversation. I would have brought it up and asked him to knock it off, but I feared if I opened my mouth, I’d resume weeping over Liza.
I aim a vicious kick at the punching bag, and it finally sways a little.
It’s two days after New Year’s, which means it’s been over a week since Liza became Cameron’s fiancée. A week of unwarranted anger, feeling guilty over said anger, and strained smiles. Since Liza knows me so well, she can tell what’s up. I can’t exactly hide it twenty-four-seven. We live together—and likely will until after she gets lawfully married, lest our ultra-conservative parents keel over from shame.
Doesn’t stop her from sleeping at Cam’s most nights, though.
What’s worse, Liza isn’t even upset that I’m the most terrible sisterin the world. She understands that this is hard. That even though I’m happy for her, I can’t seem to keep a smile on my face. Despite everything, she still waits for me in the kitchen every morning with a hug and a cup of tea.
Thwomp. Thwomp. Thwomp.
