Mom sighs again. “James’s mother.”
Grandma Chen.
Her memory pangs in my stomach. She would have loved tonight. Soaked in the art that Amantha and I have worked so hard for. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep my eyes from smarting.
“I do?” I say.
But it’s like she can’t hear me. My mother is trapped in her own world.
“She disliked me so much,” she murmurs at the screen. “Disliked that I wasn’t worthy of her son, and that I wasn’t Chinese. Disliked that I grew up, as she so often put it, eating from a silver spoon.”
She laughs, but it’s laced with venom. “Even when you girls were born, it was still a constant fight. She disagreed with how we parented. Snuck you candy after we had your cavities filled. Gave you freedom that wasn’t hers to offer.”
She turns her haunted eyes on me, and my breath falters. I’ve never seen her like this.
“You came out looking so much like her.” She addresses my surprised expression. “Trust me, I’ve seen photos of her growing up in Hong Kong. You could be her twin.”
I swallow, both waiting for her to continue and not knowing what to say. She twists back to the photo, and I think I spot the hint of a quiver in her manicured hands.
“I haven’t been fair to you,” she whispers. “Yes, you have her face, her artistic nature, and her boldness, but you aren’ther.” She says this word with such vehemence, it’s like she’s convincing herself.
Her smile turns sad, and my mother, the debutante queen of Kentucky, says the words I’d never dreamed she’d say.
“I owe you an apology. Technically,weowe you an apology. James wasn’t very fond of his mother either, and any resemblance of her we tried to stomp out in you girls.”
She approaches my wide eyes and gently tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “But you, like her, are too fierce to be tamed. And for the first time, Katherine, I’m not necessarily convinced that’s a bad thing.”
Emotion burns behind my eyes, but I stay silent.
“Your grandmother would have never addressed us the way you did in that study weeks ago. Bold, yes. Passionate, yes. But with quiet love and respect that I’m not sure we deserved.”
“I do love you guys,” I mumble through the growing lump in my throat.
I’m waiting for the shoe to drop.
For the edges of the sentiment to shimmer away like the mirage they are.
Waiting for the manipulation to slap me in the face.
But I’m still waiting.
“And we love you.” Her amber eyes turn glossy. “I want to do better, Katherine. I cannot speak for James, but I’m hoping he’ll come around in his own time. You see, he’s disliked his mother for much longer than I have. But I have faith in him.”
Something over my shoulder catches her attention, and I turn to see Brandon has returned, clearly eavesdropping while pretending to admire the arched ceiling.
I turn back, surprised to find a tiny smile on my mother’s face.
“He’s a good man,” she says, nodding to Brandon. “If it weren’t for him sending your father and me that very video”—she points at the monitor—“I don’t think I would have had the boldness to come tonight.” She meets my gaze, looking much older than I’ve ever seen her. “I believe he loves you. And although he’s…unorthodox, I shouldn’t have persisted on about Tanner. You see, I married my ‘Tanner.’ And while I love your father in his own right, I often wonder…”
It’s like something has cracked inside my mother, admissions spilling out at an alarming rate. She rallies, drawing herself back to the present with an embarrassed smile.
“I’m sorry. You don’t need to listen to the ramblings of an older woman on your special evening.”
My heart responds before my mind processes even one of her words. I throw my arms around her, and she stiffens only a millisecond before returning the hug with a small pat.
Healing our relationship is going to be an uphill battle, but for the first time, I think we might be fighting on the same side.
It’s everything I ever wanted, and all it took was setting us both free to be ourselves. While I’m tentative, I can sense a shift—a genuine one—within my mother. It’s as if she’s looking atme. All of me.
