I’m not proper, steady, or predictable.
The real me is broken, messy, and reckless.
Brandon’s words wash over me for the millionth time.“Whatever skewed version your parents convinced you to be—don’t. Just be you, Kate. I need you to be you.”
I brace myself. “Nothing, Mom. I didn’t do anything. He’s great, but it just didn’t work out.”
“Well, then, fix it,” Mom demands. “He may be the best you’re going to get.”
I tip my head and let out a grating laugh. “The best? Really, Mom?”
Mom swivels toward Dad, who shrugs like I’m the mud stuck to his shoe and he’s given up. She turns back, and I can tell she’s fighting to keep her voice low.
“Yes, Katherine. The Evanses are well connected, wealthy, and handsome. So I’ll ask again, what did you do?” Her amber eyes are cutting, and I fight the tired burn behind mine.
I haven’t even disclosed that I was the one who ended things. Forall she knows, I could have hadmyheart broken. The injustice of it all heats my blood, but my tear ducts begin to sting. It’s like a week’s worth of repressed emotion is gathering behind them.
“He wasn’t the one,” I say. “Now can we move past this?”
“Oh, wake up,” she snaps.
Wake up.
Always time to wake up. Time to admit that the life that I want, thelovethat I want, is likely impossible.
Dad looks unaffected, Liza looks embarrassed, and I look for a way out. It’s difficult, though, because my gaze is beginning to blur.
A text distracts me, and I fish out my phone.
UNKNOWN: I’m saddened to see you didn’t wear my gift this evening. Maybe you would prefer something else? - Hopefully Yours.
Terror pushes me toward my breaking point. Fear makes me want to shrink into the sidewalk cracks and hide forever.
I scan the blurring crowd, a mesh of skin tones and unrecognizable faces. One thing is clear—I’ve got to get out of here.Now.
I don’t take the time to respond to my mother before I turn and stride down the sidewalk. My heart throws itself against my ribcage as my ears strain to listen for following footsteps. All I hear are my family’s voices, clamoring and questioning after me.
But I only walk faster.
There’s nothing here for me anymore. Nothing but ugly reminders of my bleak future. I curse through my terrified tears, then curse again. How in the world did I get here? Not only did my New Year’s Resolution to find love fail me, but I also failed it. Because how can I let someone love me when I don’t even know how to love myself?
I can still hear my family calling me back, but I keep my gaze trained on the undulating crowds. Keep listening for anyone that might be pursuing me. My pepper spray canister is smooth beneath my fingers, concealed in the pocket of my coat.
Beyond the swimming lights, a movement across the street catches my eye. A horizon of fan dancers sweep through the parade as a light winks off a black leather jacket. My gaze trails up to find a square jaw and tousled inky waves. Brandon’s eyes meet mine, but I’m too faraway to make out the expression in them. Is he as surprised to see me as I am him?
Brandon shrugs as if to explain his presence, the corner of his mouth ticking up.
An immediate sense of safety suddenly expands my tight lungs.
I don’t care if this is coincidence, karma, or kismet; he’shere.
The next thing I know, I’m dodging fan dancers in an attempt to get to him. My bewildered family calls after me as I cross the street, but I still don’t stop. My legs pump as fast as my heart, and I don’t allow myself a single breath to second guess. It’s as if this moment also belongs in the same pocket of transcendent darkness as the motel.
So I let myself fall into the safety of his arms, the scent of leather, the scent ofhim.Brandon keeps me wrapped inside his haven, and I let out a shuddering breath.
Because he’shere. And I suddenly don’t care that he’s six years too late.
“Hey, Katie Cat.” Brandon whispers against my hair. “Fancy seein’ you here.”
