Regardless, I fall asleep clinging to my pepper spray like a child clings to their mother.
Traditional red lanterns swing to and fro above the busy parade route. My heavy cream overcoat swishes against my legs as I walk. This year’s Lunar Parade falls one week after Valentine’s day.
One week since I broke up with Tanner.
Guilt still festers in my gut, but I know it was the right choice.
He’s a wonderful man, but he wasn’t the man forme.
I pick up my pace, skirting around other parade goers moving at their leisure. My eyes dart from face to face, and I occasionally sweep a glance behind me.
Maybe it’s my lack of sleep, but my paranoia hasn’t dimmed in the slightest. Being out in public by myself is thelastthing I want to do, but I won’t be alone for long. Besides, I already told Liza I’d come.
Despite my skin crawling from so many strange sets of eyes watching me, I forge a path through the crowd toward the corner of Wentworth Avenue.
I soon glimpse a sleek caramel-colored head of hair. Mom’s wearing leather gloves and a designer houndstooth overcoat. Her ivory cheeks are flushed with rose, her makeup precise.
From this distance, I can see why my father married the Kentucky-born debutante with the charming smile and carrying laugh. The one who probably seemed like a steady choice after growing up with Grandma Chen’s quirky antics that he so outwardly hated. Even after all these years, Mom is still stunning.
But some beauty cannot withstand a closer inspection.
Mom’s mouth slants as she sees me approaching, alone.
“Where’s Tanner? I thought you were bringing him?”
Hi, Mom. Nice to see you too.
Before I can respond, Liza spots me over Cam’s shoulder and barrels over with a hug. I grin, loving the moments of levity Liza seems to carry in spades.
Her signature marshmallow coat is baby pink this year, matching the cold on the tip of her nose. Liza is one of those people who if she finds something she likes, she’ll buy it in every color.
“You came!” she says.
I laugh. “Told you I would.”
Cam and I exchange a smile as Liza burrows against his side.
Dad nods, as if that will complete the required etiquette when seeing his daughter.
I nod right back.
Mom’s black leather glove takes my arm. Her petite frame is shorter than mine by a half-inch, but her presence still makes me feel small.
“Where’s Tanner?” she asks.
I glimpse the yawning mouth of a parade dragon as it wiggles past, pumping sticks attached to its underbelly. The urge to run in front of it is stupid, since the dragon obviously won’t ingest me to avoid my parents.
No, what’s more likely is a ten-person pileup and a brief straightjacket vacation.
Rubbing my sleep-deprived eyes, I decide to rip off the bandaid.
“We broke up.”
Mom’s lipsticked mouth falls into an “o” for a millisecond before snapping shut. “What didyoudo?”
Cam and Liza shift awkwardly in an effort to give me privacy, and I sigh.
Spending the night alongside Brandon in the motel loosened something inside me. My last nerve, quite possibly. When I was with Tanner, all I could see was what I’m not.
