I had to go. And for that to happen, Mikhail had toletme go.
Mikhail,
I can’t in good conscience accept your generosity a moment longer. We are too different, from different worlds, and I can’t fathom how we can ever meet in the middle and truly be compatible.
Please don’t come looking for me. Please do not send your men after me.
Furrowing my brow and pausing my goodbye note, I tapped the pen to my mouth. He had found me again, but I had yet to know why and how. When I was in that police station cell, someone in the Orlov organization must have been notified about where I was. How else would their fancy lawyer have shown up and represented me, demanding my release when I hadn’t been held with any official arrest or charges?
Mikhail’s power wasn’t only through his physical strength and skillful mastery of weaponry and combat. He was a fighter. I’d witnessed that when he saved me in the hospital hallway and in its parking garage too. He knew how to use his body in all the ways that mattered in a violent match. But he had so many resources, too. He had money and legal teams. He had an army.
If I ran, he’d find me again.
It wasn’t much, but I hoped that in writing this note, he would have to address my wishes that I didn’t want him to find me.
Please, let me go. Your secrets are safe with me and I will do all I can to avoid being captured by your enemies from now on. I plan to return to my home, back in the UK, to better avoid the trouble I’ve incurred since you became my patient. I am not your adversary with my departure from your life, but I cannot be the asset you want to mold me into.
Sincerely,
Dr. Claire Donovon
I reread the note three times, wondering what I could revise, add, or subtract. There was no simple way to say goodbye, no easy manner in which I could tell him both to fuck off and to love me. Those sentiments wouldn’t make a difference, anyway.
With tears stinging my eyes again, I drew in a deep breath and stood.
Tapping the pen on the note on the desk once more, I swallowed hard and turned to leave. A reset on my life was due, and I hoped I could be strong to pull it off and escape this man I wanted to love but feared to obey.
25
MIKHAIL
Iwoke alone, in my bed, and let out a deep exhale of regret. I left Claire in her room to sleep and have some distance. I could give her space when it was necessary, and I imagined that when she woke up and realized she’d caved to me again, she’d be annoyed.
It didn’t stop me from wanting to be near her, though, from wishing I could hold her and let her feel how deeply I would commit to her. Not only to fuck her, but to just be there with her. To embrace her and share companionship that didn’t come with any contingent expectations.
Reaching for my phone, I gave up the urge to sleep in. From the constant feed of texts that were already filing in from the men I put in charge, I knew that the moment I got up, I would be on the go.
Putting out fires. Calling off meetings or insisting on other ones.
Worse, I’d be gathering reports about all the other threats. Hits kept coming from the Popovs and Giovannis. Even the Cartel was trying to fuck with us. Businesses were being disrupted. Ourbars and clubs had employees harassed overnight. A gunfight caused a commotion at one of our drug shipment locations. And a couple of our whores had gone missing from our whorehouse when the enemies thought they could disobey our rules.
Some days, it was never-ending. But it wasn’t often that I was tired of it all before I even left my room.
As I strode down the hall to check on my daughter, I warned myself from looking forward to seeing Claire. She was just such a bright spot in my life, a ray of sunshine and goodness and hope, that it was hard not to anticipate the peace and joy that she represented. She wasn’t bubbly and peppy. She wasn’t overly enthusiastic with her smiles. It was the goodness in her heart, though, that I wanted to let mine thaw out with.
Anya was sleeping, and the maid who was seated in her chair smiled at me. “She’s been resting peacefully all night.”
“Good.” I backed out of the room, ready to check on Claire next.
Imagining her sharing a bed with me, just being in my room, felt like too much to dream for yet, but I was pleased with knowing she would be in my building.
But she wasn’t. I found her bedroom empty, her bed untouched. On the desk in her guest room, though, was a note.
I snatched it and frowned as I read it. Then again as I read it over slower.
Anger rose swiftly at her goodbye note addressed to me. Disappointment quickly washed over once I breathed through the initial fury. The audacity of that woman. The gall she had. To not only tell me over and over again that she should leave, that she wanted to leave, but also to actually take off.
Twice in less than twenty-four hours, she had escaped my home.
