“Tyler, is that you?” She took a shaky step toward me, her legs thin and weak. “What are you doing back here, eh?”
That was the question of the year.
I had two options. Stay here, where I’d freeze every night and do questionable things I wanted to leave in my past, or take the phone number Eddie had given me and call him. Ask for a home for a while. That meant I had to suck up my pride and shove down my anger.
I didn’t answer her. Instead, I grabbed a raspberry tart and passed it to her, and she flashed her yellow teeth at me in a grin as she took a large bite.
“You know, if you hang out with that, people will rob you.” She pointed a knobby knuckle toward the box of food.
I smiled sadly. “I know.”
Familiar faces lined the street. It was a smaller area of the city and well known as a homeless hot spot. There were more alcoves than usual to hide in from the cruel wind blasting off Lake Ontario. Restaurants lined both sides of the street and a couple of apartment buildings were dotted in between.
“Where’s Ezra this afternoon?”
She frowned as she took another nibble of the tart. “To be honest, I haven’t seen him for a while. He left and never came back. I’ve been worried about him. Hoped maybe he got a spot in a shelter.”
I frowned. Ezra was a little older than me. He’d welcomed me to the streets of New Gothenburg in the only way Ezra could, with a swift nod and a stern warning—people are assholes, be careful. When I’d chosen to go to A Home for the Heart, an LGBTQ plus shelter, he’d refused to come with me. He liked to do things for himself, which didn’t make sense. Occasionally, I’d come to say hello to him, but he was a quiet guy. I didn’t know much about him.
“He’s Ezra. He can handle himself.” And that was the problem. If someone gave him shit, he shot it right back. One day his attitude would get him in trouble.
Unlike Eddie. He was the opposite of Ezra. He tried to please everyone, even if he was hopeless at it. He was also a mess when it came to...everything. If you looked up disaster in the dictionary, his name would be there, along with a picture of his apologetic, smiling face.
The thought of my ex-stepbrother and, more importantly, ex-friend brought mixed feelings. The anger and resentment from all those years ago merged with a warmth I couldn’t quite explain. Once upon a time, he’d been the only one I could rely on. He’d been my strength and hope. He’d made me smile and laugh through the shitty way his dad treated us.
Then, he’d left. Escaped without asking me to go with him.
How could I forgive that?
“Well, you be good, eh?” Mrs. Lyle gave me a small wave and pat on the head before she began to move again, taking careful steps in her worn shoes. I’d asked her once why she hadn’t asked for help, but her answer always haunted me.“People pretend to want to help, but they’re never there when you need it.”
She was old. Eventually, she’d die out here or get hurt and end up in an old-folks home somewhere.
But what she’d said wasn’t wrong. The truth hurt. Eddie was an example of that. He gave me his number and address, but that was out of guilt. If I called him—or worse, simply showed up at his house—what would he have to offer?
I groaned and fell back against the wall behind me. Coldness seeped into my bones, chilling me from the outside in. The longer I sat here, reality set in. I didn’t have much of a choice. Living without an apartment was too dangerous.
Too lonely.
Nothing good would happen out here. I’d been lucky once. I’d jittered my way through waiting for STI test results after I’d gotten my apartment and was sort of on my feet. Through some miracle they’d come back negative. I wasn’t dumb enough tothink that would happen twice. If I went back to what I’d been doing for cash the last time I was in this position, I’d eventually end up in trouble. There were too many men who didn’t like condoms or got off on the idea of me swallowing. Or simply wanted to brutalize people and thought a homeless hustler wouldn’t go to the cops.
They weren’t wrong.
I shivered and wrapped the coat tighter around myself. Lowering my head, I eyed the guy across the street. He’d been giving me a death stare since I’d sat down, and after each passing minute, it deepened until the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I didn’t know him, but that didn’t matter.
My phone buzzed in my coat pocket, startling me. I tugged it out before answering the unknown number. “Tyler speaking.”
“Tyler, this is Margot fromÉlégant.”
My breath caught. I’d gone to a quick interview at the bistro after ditching Eddie yesterday, hoping for something—anything—even if it was the shittiest job possible. I hadn’t expected to hear back from them so soon. “Of course. How can I help you, Margot?”
“Listen, I wanted to be polite and call you to let you know we’ve filled the position, and unfortunately, you were unsuccessful.” She sounded anything but apologetic, but I wasn’t surprised. She’d given me a long once-over, the disgust evident on her slim, Botox-filled face. While people like her changed the way they looked, I struggled for the basics.
“Right. Thanks.”
She huffed. “Have a good day.”
Then, she ended the call, the silence loud in my ear as my heart dropped right into my stomach. That was my last chance and now it was gone, too. A sharp pain streaked through my chest, and I dragged my knees up, hiding my face between them.My future choices were dwindling fast. I only had one direction left to go—Eddie. Unless I wanted to stay out in the cold.
