I didn’t care that he hadn’t meant for their deaths to happen. In the end, the job was done thanks to Eddie. He’d eradicatedmy demons. There was only one left. He’d said he didn’t want to go after Chuck, and I’d agreed, but I really hated that I did. Chuck hadn’t only hurt me, but he’d mentally fucked with Eddie. It was likely he’d done worse, but Eddie hadn’t said as much. The asshole deserved the worst kind of hell. But a promise was a promise, and I would keep it, unless Chuck did something stupid. For his sake, he better not come within a mile of us.
“Wanna cross him off the list.”
“There are two names left,” Eddie murmured, and it took me a moment to realize I’d mentioned Chuck and the list aloud. “I’m on there.”
I shook my head fast and rose, ignoring his whine. He reached for me, but I waved off his hand as I slid out of the bed. I rushed out of the room to my backpack in the guest room, where I’d placed it when I’d first arrived. There wasn’t a lot in the bag that I needed now, especially with Eddie buying me new things so I didn’t have scraggly old stuff. But a copy of my list was there. Waiting. Every time Eddie killed one of them, their name was crossed off, red ink streaking across them to record they’d been scorched from the earth. Once Chuck was gone,ifhe ever got his comeuppance, I would burn the piece of paper and finally release this poison.
I grabbed a green pen out of my bag, snorting when I realized it would make my list festive, before I strode back to our bedroom with purpose. Eddie was exactly where I’d left him, lying on the mattress, half asleep and confused when I made it back to him. He sat up as I came over to the bed and flashed him the list. I pointed to his name with a flourish, tapping the pen on the paper aggressively in a way that made his mouth twitch in amusement.
“See exhibit A, Your Honor. Eddison Wheelwright. My hero. My savior. Mine.” I laid the list on the bed next to him and crossed his name out—or tried. The pen decided that was theperfect moment to stop working. I groaned, and the more I tried to scribble on the paper to make it work, the more it threatened to rip under the pressure of the point. “Goddamn it.”
Eddie laughed and rolled over to the nightstand on his side. He swiped a pen he had there, beside a small legal pad he liked to make notes on for work—when ideas came to him while he was lying in bed—and passed it to me. “Here, baby.”
I was surprised he hadn’t rolled right off the bed onto the floor; although, he’d been trying to be extra careful lately, especially after the Warren Andrews incident. It didn’t stop him from being clumsy, but he was gettingslightlybetter with taking care of himself.
I kissed him in thanks as I took the pen and cleared my throat. “Exhibit A.” I went to cross off his name, but this pen didn’t work, either. Not a drop of damned ink. “Fucking hell.” I scratched at the paper angrily and the ripping sound made me pause.
Eddie frowned, his forehead creasing as he woefully perused the list. “Perhaps it’s a sign.”
“Yeah, a sign we need new pens.” I took in the concern in his eyes and made a split-second decision—I ripped the paper in half, then again and again and again until it was nothing but small pieces. I threw the confetti in the air. The pieces fell around us like snowflakes. I’d have to clean up the mess, but that could wait until later. I had more important things to do. A more importantpersonto do.
He stared, eyes wide, and sat up straight. Panic overtook his face as he gaped. “That list was important to you.”
“You’re more important.” I jumped back into bed, bouncing on top of him. He caught me with an “umph” and wrapped his strong arms around my upper back, holding me close. My stomach warmed as I kissed along his jaw with gentle pecks,his stubble scraping my skin in the most pleasant way. “You should’ve never been on my list. I’m sorry.”
I smoothed a hand down his abs and traced the waistband of his boxers, eliciting a shiver from him. His eyelashes fluttered and he watched me from under them, caught in a spell. More specifically, my sex spell. Appeal. Whatever.
My heart battered my ribs. Everything in this space felt warm and comfy—homey—even though it was cold as fuck outside. No amount of snow and freezing wind could take away the relief and heat he brought me. “You’re nothing like the others.”
“I should’ve taken you with me.” He stroked my jaw and across my chin, thumb caressing my skin with tenderness.
“Bullshit. Your dad and my mom would’ve never let it happen. You were eighteen, I was sixteen. You know they wouldn’t have let it slide. Your dad lived on the control.” I didn’t want to admit it before, but it was true. Mom wouldn’t have let me leave at that age. She was a mediocre mother, not a horrible one. Chuck would’ve made me stay so he had someone to torment. “I don’t want to think about the past anymore.”
I threw my leg over his thighs and sat back on his knees, my brief-covered dick close to his growing bulge. I traced my knuckle over his dick stamp, and a hiss breezed through his teeth.
“I’d rather fuck myself on your cock if that’s all right with you.”
He nodded so fast I swore I heard his teeth rattle. “Yeah, yeah. Good.” He thrust his hips. “Hop on and take a ride.”
“Why thank you, good sir,” I teased.
He laughed as I hooked my fingers in his boxers and tugged them. He raised his hips so I could get them down to his ankles and off before I wriggled out of my briefs. While I wanted to take my time and go slow, enjoy every long moment with him, the clothes needed to go. I craved to see him, take in every inch of hisskin so I could revel in what I had. Not just Eddie, but a partner who loved me enough to take on my demons for me.
Who in the world didn’t want that?
The slit of his dick leaked, drops of precum beading there and sliding down the vee under the head. My mouth went dry and I ducked, tracing the trail of precum with my tongue, making sure to catch it all before swallowing. I’d never enjoyed the taste of another man’s jizz because in the past it’d come with being used. Men took what they wanted from me, but it was different with Eddie. He was my second chance. My rebirth into a better life.
He trembled and cursed under his breath, chin tipping back to give me the perfect view of his thick neck and the way the tendons pulled as he swallowed. His tattoo,Live Your Life, meant so much more now. He tensed, the muscles in his thighs tight, and then released again as I nuzzled the head of his dick.
Something lodged itself in my throat at the sight of him like this. Tears prickled my eyes, but I blinked them away. Happiness was a strange concept to me and it was weird trying to process the emotion.
“I love you,” I murmured, soft and sweet as I licked around the mushroom tip. My stomach went fluttery, more tears threatening the corners of my eyes. I wasn’t going to cry. Except, I was damned close to sobbing. “So very much.”
“Fuck, baby.” He shuddered. I dug my nails into the muscles of his thighs, and he rocked his hips, dick brushing my lips. “I love you, too. Gonna make you happy.”
“You already do.” If only he knew how much. I swiped my tongue around the head of his dick, watching the way he let out a trembling breath, before I reached over him to open the top drawer on his side. I tugged out lube and a condom.
I ripped open the wrapper and slid the condom over his dick, watching the way the rubber glided along his length the exact same way I wanted to with my ass. Stroking his dick,I memorized his face again, unable to tear my attention away from how he parted his lips and exhaled noisily. I ate up every minuscule reaction from him. Like I’d told him, the past belonged in the past. The ghosts that haunted me weremostlygone, and if the last remaining one showed up, I’d handle him.
