He ran a hand over his short brown hair, barely long enough to ruffle anything with that buzz cut, and his blue eyes radiated guilt as he glanced between me and the laptop with the kind of suspicious behavior that disqualified him to be any type of spy.Eddie couldn’t lie to save his life. He was a big, awkward giraffe that tripped over his own long legs.
Snorting at the thought, I strolled over to him and laid a kiss on his head. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” He coughed into his hand, and I shook my head.
“Eddie, sweetheart, you can’t lie. Is it porn?” I leaned over the laptop and opened it. He didn’t stop me.
“No, I wouldn’t hide that.” He snorted.
The screen lit up and pictures of Mario and his social media timeline caught my eye. I paused, taking in the lined face that I’d tried to forget about. He hadn’t changed, his eyes still a gentle brown that welcomed you into his life like a warm hug. But what Mario really came with was tentacles that wrapped around you and held you in place while he sucked out your soul and made you feel as if you owed him.
I hadn’t told Eddie about any of the men on my list and what they’d done to me because the shame lay too deep. They were scars that resided under my skin, real but invisible. Only I knew where they were and why they hurt so much.
Eddie cleared his throat. “Who is he?”
I took the seat beside him and turned the laptop my way, still staring at Mario. I clicked through his photos, taking in the ones he shared with his family. Never with the young men he tricked into sleeping with him.
“It was last year,” I whispered, not quite sure if my voice was loud enough for Eddie to hear. He shuffled his chair closer and slid his hand into mine, the warmth of his palm grounding me and reminding me I was safe with him. “I was trying to get off the streets. I met Mario outside a restaurant. He’d told me he’d seen me around and wanted to help. It was his mission to help.”
I shuddered as I remembered the hope that had filled my chest that day. I’d still believed in good people, even though I’d been used too many times.
“He offered me a room at his house, and I took it, not realizing the implications. It wasn’t really his home. He owned it, but it was a secondary place his wife didn’t know about.” I chuckled as I thought about my naivety. “I had no idea, of course. It started off nice. There were other men there who came in at the same time as me. Mario made us breakfast, told us he’d help us find jobs and maybe look at getting our GEDs for those of us who needed one. He acted like a big brother. But the act changed. A few weeks in. He came to us and told us he was in trouble financially and needed our help. We asked him how, and he came up with a geniusidea. We could kiss and fuck in front of the camera and he’d sell it. We’d all be rich.”
Eddie’s face crumpled, but I didn’t let that stop me from telling him the story. He deserved to know, especially after everything he’d done for me.
“I didn’t want to do it. I was ashamed enough about what I’d had to do to survive. I didn’t want it on camera. Didn’t want the proof. He made me feel bad about it, kept telling me I owed him, that he saved me.” My stomach crushed in on itself and I wrapped an arm around my waist. “I kept telling him I didn’t want to. The other guys were scared, but they agreed. I didn’t. He slapped me and literally threw me and my belongings back out on the street. He told me I was nothing but a whore and he’d leave me there to rot and have my ass torn up by strangers.”
I squeezed Eddie’s hand and sent him a smile as I took in his sad blue eyes and the way his mouth twisted in disgust. He was too good for this world. I’d hated him and added him to a list that he didn’t deserve to be on. I was so torn apart by the one person who’d made me feel safe leaving that I’d put him on a list of nightmares, when he was actually a sweet dream. He was an angel compared to the other men.
Eddie swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. His eyes burned with some dark emotion.
I laid a palm on his cheek. “All I need is you because you make me happy and safe. If I lost you, I wouldn’t know what to do.”
After the last kill, there was a piece of Eddie missing. I couldn’t explain it, but I saw it in the depths of his soul, which was cracking and splitting but holding on. I didn’t want him to end up like me. His kindness was fumbling but real.
“Leave him, sweetheart.” I pressed my forehead against his. “We need to focus on us now. We’re happy, right?”
“Yeah.” The words scraped up his throat, raw and heartfelt, as if the idea of not doing anything to Mario emotionally destroyed him.
Considering he’d already killed for me, maybe holding back was getting to him. Who knew?
“I love you,” he whispered.
My chest went light with joy, and I pressed my lips to his, savoring his taste and the happiness of being with him. “I love you, too. We should go. You have work and I need to get to Grounds and Gears for another study session. I really want to get my GED.”
“I know.” His smile lit up the kitchen, and I felt better. The cracks under his surface could be fixed. I’d make sure of it. “Here.”
He grabbed my wallet from behind his laptop and handed it to me, and I stared at it, my thumb grazing over the genuine leather. The texture was smooth under my fingers and inside was a card and some cash. Eddie insisted on buying me the wallet, and every morning before he went to work, he made sure there were bills inside, even though I had a secondary card to his bank account. I hated using his money, but the fact that he cared made me all warm and fuzzy inside. He was so insistent on me getting a career, something I would really love, and I’d doeverything in my power to make it happen. I needed to prove to him that putting his faith and love into me wasn’t for nothing.
“I’ll get you some breakfast, then we’ll go.” He closed his laptop again and shoved it to the side. When he stood to walk over to the fridge, my gaze slid back to the computer. What did a man likeMariodeserve?
I spent the rest of the morning at Grounds and Gears, but I didn’t do much studying. My mind was stuck on Mario and the social media profile Eddie had been staring at. Was it really that easy for Mario to breeze through life, as though he didn’t trick countless young men into filming scenes for him so he could sell them for money? I’d learned while at the shelter that it wasn’t the first time he’d done it, and only a fool would think it was the last. He made a living taking advantage of people.
I shook my head and glanced around the café. Grounds and Gears had a cozy vibe. The staff was always polite and kind, offering me smiles, even as I sat in the café all day while I studied with the laptop Eddie bought for me.
Today, I’d drifted and started searching schools that had degrees related to managing a restaurant. The longer I browsed them, the more longing filled my chest. I hadn’t realized how desperate I was to have a direction, a purpose, and now I’d found it with Eddie’s help. My aimless wandering was a distant memory.
“Here’s your drink, sweetheart.” While I couldn’t see her because she was on my right side, I knew who it was. The sweet redheaded lady in a leather jacket rested my peppermint hot chocolate on the table beside my laptop. She shifted to my left before looking over my shoulder, head cocked in interest. “Do you manage a restaurant? You’re very young.”
