I hated how raw my voice sounded. Weak. But that’s what I was, wasn’t I? All my battles were fought by other people. When I was verbally and physically abused by one of my former bosses, it wasn’t me who’d stood up to him. Ari, a friend from my days in the homeless shelter, had, along with his boyfriend.
They’d killed James. Murdered the hell out of him by tossing him into a fryer at Smoke and Sizzle. I wouldn’t rat them outbecause the bastard deserved it, and I was thankful. If only I’d had the guts to do something like that.
I was spineless. Half blind and exhausted with life. How was I supposed to take care of myself, let alone defend myself? I glanced down my lanky body. An ache spread across my chest, right under my ribs, stabbing deep. The truth was painful. These people on my list would never get the retribution they deserved.
I shook my head, legs trembling under the realization of failure. My joints hurt, but not as much as my heart and the feeling of despair. “I don’t want to see you or talk to you again.”
His face crumpled.
I’d kicked a puppy. Damn it, this was stupid. I turned and rushed away.
“Tyler. Tyler! You dropped this!”
But I didn’t care what I’d left behind. My heart had already been destroyed.
2
EDDISON “EDDIE” WHEELWRIGHT
“What are you doing here? Oh, probably going to get punched in the face. No worries. You deserve it.” I tugged at the sleeves of my dark gray suit jacket. I should’ve worn a coat because it was darned close to freezing, but it had taken a few minutes for the cold to seep in and I hadn’t. Saturday morning meetings were my least favorite type of meeting, but at least I’d turned in my report and gotten a metaphorical pat on the head from Gerald, my boss.
Now I had all day to take care of important things, such as getting punched in the face, because I was awake and dressed.
I shivered and took a determined step forward. I was going to talk to Tyler again and fix things. I was going to figure out what?—
My heel slipped. My arms pinwheeled, and I fell hard on my ass.
“Shit.” I clonked my head lightly back onto the cold sidewalk. The gray sky above seemed to be mocking me as it spit a few spiteful snowflakes down onto my face.
“Ouch. What was that for?” I asked, but the universe declined to answer. “Yeah, you’re right. The complete jackass who ran out and left Tyler with my psycho dad should fall on his ass.”
“Are you okay?” An older man in winter jogging gear ran in place at my side while a concerned frown took over his face. Other people—men twice my age—could fuckingrunin this weather, and I couldn’t walk. That was just great.
A self-deprecating laugh snuck out of me. “Thanks. I’m good.” I forced myself to my feet, and he waved before he took off.
I stared up at the time-worn building in front of me. The exterior was that weird stucco-type stuff that was bland beige and popular a million years ago. This wasn’t the best neighborhood but wasn’t terrible, either.
I’d followed Tyler home yesterday.
Like a coward, I didn’t have the guts to say anything to him.
I took a fortifying breath of freezing air. Yesterday, I’d gotten into a ton of trouble for being late to a meeting. We were all scrambling at the office to pick up the slack from Zayn, since he’d moved to St. Loren. The man had been doing the job of about five people, somehow, and we were all struggling.
Everything was going to suck forever at the office. Every single?—
“Enough stalling.” I counted down under my breath from five. “Go!” I muttered, then started toward the glass door that made up the entrance. Hustling inside, I took the cement stairs to the left. Tyler was on the fifth floor, and I didn’t slow down, just powered onward. I didn’t want to wuss out. As I neared the landing to Tyler’s floor, I heard raised voices and started to run because I was sure one of those was Tyler.
“I understand, but I’m trying to find a job. Could you work with me?” The desperation in Tyler’s tone was almost as much of a gut punch as rounding the corner and seeing his half-closedright eye again. He didn’t deserve that. His shiny blond hair was longer than he used to wear it, almost brushing his shoulders, but I liked the look on him. I was already scared of my father—which was why I’d left the state for a while—but what had possessed him to do something so unhinged? Dad had always been vicious, but this was an all-time low.
And what lies did Dad tell to get out of trouble? Big ones, I’m sure. Huge ones. Ones the size of a Mack truck.
Tyler ignored me, which was fair.
Poor Tyler. My heart felt like it might pop as I held my breath. He’d been such a good friend, and I’d run out. Literally packed my bags and got on a plane when it was still dark and so early in the morning farmers weren’t up yet, then didn’t come back to the city for years.
Fiveyears.
A short man with big blue eyes and blond curls pouted at Tyler, a sad frown twisting down his mouth. “Sorry, but if I can’t make rent, we’re both getting an eviction notice. My buddy Dylan can pay today.” He tossed two bags out the door at Tyler’s feet. “Sorry again.” He handed Tyler an old red ski coat with a sewn-up tear in the side. Whoever had fixed it had used purple thread.
