“Eh. It might be a side thing. These kinds of places always attract high-end customers. People who want to relax but have no idea how to do it. People who want to put pep in their step.” Irritation began to bubble inside me. And there wasalwayssomeone willing to prey on those desperate people searching for pieces of their youth. Or to counter deteriorating health.
Keaton grunted. “Then, why sell drugs if you’re already doing fine?”
Sighing, I sat back and rested my weight on my hands, staring deep into the silver pool. Under different circumstances, it really would be meditative. “Usually? Because people enjoy drugs. Even successful people can’t always kick the habit. They just ruin a different tax bracket worth of lives. There are people outside the trailer park addicted to all kinds of stuff.” I nudged him with my elbow.
Keaton grunted. I had no idea why, but that sound coming from him was adorable.
“I have nothing against people who are hooked. It’s assholes who take down other people’s ships who piss me off.” I tapped my feet on the floor and stared at the ripples that shivered the pool.
He stared at me, and I realized I’d perhaps shared too much. My face heated.
“Who?” Keaton asked. And we both knew what he meant. Who died? Who had I lost? Or perhaps he didn’t suspect my history, but crazily, for the first time, I wanted to share.
I stared right back at him, and he didn’t look away.
The moment was broken when the woman returned, a helper dressed just like her in tow. The younger woman had jet black hair in a dancer’s bun high on her head. My throat constricted. She lowered a dark wooden table trimmed in gold that probably cost more than the trailer I’d pulled Keaton and Ginny from. They proceeded to set up a full tea service as if we were the Queen of England, complete with fancy china cups.
“Uh, thanks,” I said.
The woman with the braids glanced up and gave us a dazzling smile. “Mr. Gold will be available in fifteen minutes. Please, clear your mind and recuperate while you wait.” The ladies retreated quickly.
Keaton huffed as he glared after them. “I don’t know about her hippy garbage, but I guess this is peaceful.”
“Yeah.” I couldn’t help myself. I took his hand and celebrated the victory as he let me.
We stared at the water for a few minutes, but emotions continued to boil inside me.
“It was my mom, too.” I picked up my cup of tea, a green earthy brew, and sipped.
“Your mom?” He gave my hand a squeeze.
“She was a ballerina when she was young. Toured with a dance troupe and everything. And she was thin and beautiful. And when I knew her, she was still drop-dead gorgeous. People on the street would stop and stare sometimes. She was just amazing. Shining personality.” My hand shook and I set down the delicate cup. “But she never lost this idea of how she was supposed tolook. When I was young, she put on some weight. Not much. Not anything most people would notice. But she did and hated it. She started taking pills. Over-the-counter stuff at first. Then, she found a quack doctor who gave her shit that made her shiver and shake while she was sitting still. Legal amphetamines. She still didn’t lose the weight. Then, a friend told her cocaine was the ticket.”
Keaton’s arm was heavy as it landed across my shoulders. “She died?”
I nodded. “Not right away. I was sixteen and mostly functional when it happened.” I snorted. “She spiraled. Lost weight all right, but also lost her personality. She became self-absorbed in a way she never was before then. She’d always been the light of my dad’s life, but she didn’t care what he was doing. Didn’t care about what I was doing in school. Dad started working all hours. He couldn’t stand to see his wife disappearing. She wouldn’t go to rehab. He was a financialanalyst. Had a head for investing. So, no matter how much she spent, it didn’t dent her funds.”
Keaton knocked his head against mine and it hurt just the right amount. “She didn’t have being broke to save her from herself. That’s what you’re saying?”
I nodded, throat tight. “In the end, it was a heart attack. Dad lost it. He’d been hanging on by a thread for a long while. He...went after the man selling to her. They shot each other. Both dead within minutes.”
Keaton’s breath escaped in a rush. He held me close, and I could feel him shudder.
“But that stopped other people from dying like Mom, you know?” I said roughly. “My dad was a hero.”
Keaton rested his cheek on my head, and I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but I was frozen in place, reliving those last years with Mom. I never thought about it anymore. Most days there was a weird hole that lived in my head regarding the past. That’s how I was a mostly happy person. I just totally avoided it.
Well, except for my hobby.
What had brought this out now?
Keaton pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and a thousand emotions I had been successfully ignoring began to batter at the dam in my head holding them back.
“Was it worth it for you to lose them both?” he whispered. He sounded serious, so I met his gaze head-on.
“Any story where both of the lovers die is atragedy.” The words barely scraped out of my throat. “But I like to look for the good that might have come out of what he did. It’s my sanity.”
His eyes widened.
