I licked my lips. There was something about watching the light leave someone’s eyes that I couldn’t get anywhere else. A good psychologist would have a field day with me. I’d grown up with money. My parents were dust in the wind, but my grandmother had taken me in with loving, open arms. I’d gone to a good school. I had a great job. A wonderful life.
Yet, I couldn’t let this go.
Perhaps what motivated me was the fact that, when it came to society, everything might look good on the surface while festering beneath. Things had always been too easy for me, even this job that was supposed to be difficult.
But fuck it, who cared? I am the way I am.
Having something not fall into my lap for once was a good thing. It gave me agoal.
“I’m telling you, Adlerian psychology says thatyouchose to get a D on that astrophysics test! Stop stabbing yourself in the heart and study, dumbass.” An obnoxious skinny boy wearing a paint-spattered T-shirt and jeans walked in carrying a skateboard and speaking at top volume. A can of spray paint spilled out of the pocket of his backpack and rolled across the floor, stopping beside my chair. He threw himself onto a couch in an arrangement of furniture nearby and his friends filtered in around him, all talking just as loudly with coffees in hand.
Gerald grunted and glared at them. “Why don’t we break up for the day? You can go back to the office or home. I don’t care. Just meet the project deadlines for this week.” He stood abruptly and started packing away his laptop. Someone had lifted a burial shroud off our group. Heather and Jennifer immediately startedwhispering together, and Gallant pulled out his phone. In two minutes flat I had my laptop packed and was headed out into the gravel parking lot with Eddison keeping pace at my side.
“Should I order food now or later? I don’t want to go out again. Now.” He poked at his phone screen, and I grabbed his shoulder to keep him from being run down by a bunch of kids in a van. The driver was too busy talking to someone in the seat behind him to bother paying attention. I flipped them off, but they didn’t notice, and Eddison had his hand on his chest.
“Shit! Thanks.” He gave me a tentative smile. “So, I was thinking?—”
“Why weren’t you paying attention?” I asked, slapping his shoulder.
My heart kicked up and my dick tingled as I played the highlights reel in my brain of the last time I’d felt this way—adrenaline hitting my system, sparks from a fire. It was with Moose.
He scowled. “You know, just lost in my head in some ways. That happens to me. I remember something from years ago, then it’s stuck in a loop in my brain all day. When that happens, I try to focus on things, like work or ordering food or whatever, but then my attention is split in two. It’s part of why I’m so clumsy.”
Amusement made my heart leap. “I’ve found killing the problem helps. Metaphorically speaking, of course.”
“If only it were that simple.” His self-deprecating smile dug a cute wrinkle into the bridge of his nose.
“Isn’t it?” I patted his back before hurrying over to my Maserati to hop inside.
Except, where I was going? Damn it. Waiting any longer would killme. I smacked the wheel. Moose only mentioned a lumber mill and that he was a logger, not much else. There wasno innocent way to manufacture bumping into him. I chewed on my bottom lip while I thought.
Shit, I had to try to find him. He might push me away, but I had to take the risk. The thought of doing something so crazy, hunting the man down at work, gave me a thrill that had my dick tenting my pants. I was playing a game, so I had to engage my target to have a chance at winning.
What if I don’t win this time?
My blood ran cold. I didn’t want to think about it.
I could kill him without getting info for my next target, but that felt wrong. That wasn’t how I did things.
Instead of languishing in pessimism, I dragged my phone out of my pocket and googled lumber mills in the area. New Gothenburg Hardwoods popped up.
“You’ve got to be shitting me.” I spent about thirty seconds snickering and doing my best imitation of a middle schooler before I forced myself to get serious. What the hell? I would go see if I could catch him at work. There were more ways of killing a cat than by choking it with cream.
The drive out to the lumber mill was scenic. I didn’t get out of the city often unless I was flying out on vacation. Perhaps I should change that because the meandering road I took through a dense forest was peaceful. The sunshine cut through the leaves, and I swore I even saw a butterfly dancing on the breeze. Nature was pulling out all the stops to assure me I’d done the right thing by driving out here. As I approached the lumber mill, I slowed and pulled off the road in a turnaround spot. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. If I went inside, I might piss him off, but if I waited out here, there was a chance I would miss him.
Perhaps I could follow him home and fuck him if I waited out here? Yeah, that was a fantastic idea. I adjusted my dick, which had been nudging my boxers during the drive, keeping me on the edge of my seat. Decision made, I got comfortable. Irubbed my cock just enough to keep it at attention, but not so much I couldn’t pretend that I was just some idiot who was lost if someone stopped to ask what I was doing.
At about five o’clock, cars started to roll past, and I perked up as Moose trundled by in a beat-up blue Subaru hatchback that was at least twenty years old. He slammed on the brakes and stopped ahead of me.
“What the fuck are you doing here? How did you find me?” he snarled, hopping out of his vehicle.
I eased from my car and rested my hands on the top of the door. “How do you know I’m looking for you?” Perhaps it was cocky, but I lifted an eyebrow in his direction. My heart hammered.
He stopped in front of me and crossed his arms. They were every bit as thick with muscle as I remembered, and I wanted to sink my teeth into one of his biceps while I fucked him. God, he looked inspirational after a long day. His white shirt stuck to his barrel chest and gave me a glimpse of the dark hair underneath. His nipples were hard pebbles that were pretty much begging me to wrap my lips around them.
“You’re not answering your phone.” I rolled up the sleeves of my button-down to distract me into keeping my hands to myself, and he watched, mouth twitching and a furrow forming on his brow.
“I don’t got time to answer it. That’s why I didn’t.” He tossed up his hands.
