Hanii,
Call me anytime, day or night. I will answer.
~Yukio
I held my breath as I tore at the rose-colored paper and my gaze landed on four books inside. Three were about the ancient history of Japan, and my mouth curled into a smile before I could stop myself. Oddly enough, the last book was much more modern—Yakuza: Japan’s Criminal Underworldby David E. Kaplan and Alec Dubro. I glanced around the street, but he wasn’t there.
No one was.
Once again, he’d dropped a gift and run, and I didn’t mind because it gave me time to consider how long it would take to forgive him.
With Alex no longer angry at me, we’d spent last night having dinner together, but he hadn’t mentioned Yukio and neither did I. We discussed his sexuality and mine, and we had a conversation about my dad and what had happened last summer. It was great to hear the story of the way he’d laid a fist into Dad’s cheek, and I’d never been prouder of Alex than when he told me what he’d done. He had more courage than I did. I didn’t believe fighting was acceptable—except in this circumstance.
I thumbed the top book carefully. The cover was older, like something he’d found in a secondhand store or maybe a book from his family’s shelves. The second and third were the same, and I was scared to touch them in case they fell apart. I carefully took the books inside and sat down at the table to begin reading, even though I had a lot of papers to grade.
I was about ten pages into the first book when I came across another card with his writing on it.
My full name is Yukio Sota Hinode and my birthday is December 5th. It isn’t common for Japanese people to have a middle name, but my mom was born and raised in the US, and she liked the idea of it because she doesn’t have one. My dad was born in Japan and met Mom when he started traveling here for work. He never understood middle names, but he loves her so much he does whatever she wants.
I’d told Yukio that we knew little about each other. Was this how he was changing that? I grinned at the thought and kept reading the book. The next message I came to was about fifteen pages into it.
I love basketball and singing, which you already know. What you probably don’t know is that I was in a little league hockey team and I was the center. My coach wanted me to keep playing, but I didn’t like it as much as basketball, so I quit when I was twelve. I also play baseball, so February, March, and sometimes April are crazy for me because the seasons overlap. I hit the tennis court for fun.
I cocked my head, surprised, though I wasn’t sure why. He seemed to enjoy sports a lot. I never really understood it, but I could see him explaining the rules to me so I could watch him play basketball without being confused.
I still hadn’t forgiven him, at least, that was what I told myself.
Instead of reading the text, I started flipping through the book to find tidbits of information about Yukio. I learned more about his childhood and what he enjoyed and didn’t about all sorts of things—Lays Barbecue chips, and I absolutely hate Classic—and what I saw made me smile more every time I picked up another note.
Finally, I got to the last message in the first book and this one made me blush.
I think about you when I jerk off. I imagine you on your knees for me, opening your sweet mouth while I feed you my dick. Then, I fantasize about you on your hands and knees. The first thing I’ll do is eat you out. I’ll stick my tongue so far in your ass I’ll wonder if I can reach your prostate.
I took a moment to exhale, excitement stirring in my groin. My cock twitched and I palmed myself as I continued to read.
Then, after I’m sure you’re completely exhausted from the pleasure, I’ll shove my dick inside you and fuck you all night. I’ll fuck you so hard that you’ll feel the shape of my dick for a month. I want you so bad that I’m hard now just thinking about that tight little hole of yours and how hungry it is for me.
I let out a shuddery breath and a shiver racked my body. I stared at the note clutched tightly between my fingers and I stood on shaky knees, dropping it back onto the book. My cock throbbed, and what had started off as a small jerk was now as hard as a breastplate that the Greek soldiers used in battle. Or maybe it was more concise to say it was sharp as a sword, and when Ididforgive Yukio, I would like to cross weapons with him.
Licking my dry lips, I shut the heavy book and stumbled backward before turning and heading toward my bedroom. My cock bumped my thigh with every step, and I regretted not wearing tighter underwear today. An explosion of need assailed me and nearly made me trip, and I rushed to my knees so I could reach under my bed and drag out my box of toys.
I shoved open the lid and yanked out my favorite dildo. Bright purple in color, it was the closest I had that reminded me of Yukio’s shape and size. I wanted to imagine it was him inside me. Tearing off my clothes as quickly as I could, my heart raced and stomach churned in excited tension. I threw my phone on the nightstand. My cock was so hard it was ready to burst and I hadn’t touched it yet.
Jumping on the bed, my now free hard-on bounced with the movement. I settled onto the mattress and reached over to grab the lube out of the nightstand. I flipped open the lid. The scent of bubblegum blasted my nose. Yukio had left this here. I poured some out on the tip of the dildo, spreading it across the silicone to get it slick, before I used the excess on my hand to slowly jerk off my cock until my balls were ready to explode.
Every muscle in my body was tight with tension. My toes curled, and I closed my eyes for a moment to gather myself so I wouldn’t come before I got the toy inside me. All I could think about was Yukio and the way he smiled before he pounded into me like a man with nothing to lose. His confident attitude was as sexy as the rest of him, and I missed the way he controlled me.
I missedYukio.
I spread my legs and lifted my knees, and while I hated how awkward it was, I pushed the dildo gently inside my hole. The toy spread me, and I closed my eyes, focusing on the wonderful sensations that fired off through me. It wasn’t Yukio fucking me, but I could pretend.
I managed to get the dildo all the way in and slowly twisted, opening myself wider. I moaned, my cock jerking as I hit my prostate with the action. Wrapping a hand around my hard-on, I slowly pulled at my sensitive length, flirting with my orgasm while also staving it off.
I thought about Yukio and what he would do. He would smile down at me, mouth wet from kissing and expression focused. He often reminded me of a starving man, hungry for what I had to offer. But what would he do next?
A sharp sound echoed from the nightstand, and I groaned, cursing the fact that I hadn’t turned my phone to silent or kept it in the other room. I glanced at it, distracted from what I was doing, and my breath caught as Yukio’s name and face flashed on the screen.
Did he know? Of course not. He couldn’t.
