21
FALLON
The sun heatedmy face and I closed my eyes, leaning back against the passenger seat of the SUV with a sigh. My entire body felt sticky with sweat, and I was pretty sure there was blood in my hair. My asscrack was still greasy from the Vaseline because no matter how much I’d wiped that sensation didn’t quit.
I needed soap. Lots of soap.
Yeah, I needed a shower in the worst way possible.
It had been a long time since I’d felt genuinely gross. I liked sweating and getting muddy, but the blood was different. I shivered.
Rowen squeezed my hand, and I smiled, opening my eyes to look at him.
“Do you think Dad and my brothers are okay?” I murmured, fighting against the hypnotic road noise. The gentle whir wanted to put me to sleep. Rowen hadn’t bothered turning on the radio, and I thought about doing it when he took a while to answer, but in the end, I didn’t move. I was tired and it felt like too much work.
Rowen snorted and glanced at me. The sun glinted in his eyes and my heart flipped because they were so nice to look at. “Padraig doesn’t seem the type to be put off by some bad news, and yer da’s been at this longer even than Sloan. If anything happened to them, we would hear it. No worries.” Rowen grinned, and the bags under his eyes became more prominent.
“I want a shower,” I grumbled, stretching as much as I could while keeping my seat belt on. I arched my spine, then flopped back against the seat again.
Rowen hummed. “Ye need to eat, I expect.”
“Yeah,” I said with a sigh. I glanced out my window. He was right, but after everything that had happened, I wasn’t hungry.
“Food, then sleep. I’m knackered.”
The trip from the city to the Hamptons was familiar, so I zoned out and didn’t pay attention. Memories rushed in on me. I’d helped Rowen rip out most of Lejo’s teeth. I shuddered and swallowed hard. He hadn’t cracked, though. It was fucking frustrating. I could see now why Cillian got pissed off sometimes. It wasn’t like we wanted to keep doing awful shit—or at least, I didn’t—but the guy hadn’t done the one thing that would’ve let me stop.
Of course, we would’ve killed him if he’d talked.
It wasn’t as if I liked hurting people who were tied down and defenseless, but Fionn had been shot and was fighting for his life in the hospital, and a few other guys who belonged to the Company were dead or close to it. I shouldn’t feel bad about what I’d done because Lejo’s friends had shot at me and Rowen.
My grip on Rowen’s hand tightened until he grunted, and then I relaxed. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay, love.”
“I would be dead without you.”
He brought my hand up and pressed his lips to my knuckles, his beard tickling my skin. “Don’t think about that. It’s over and done with. We’re here and fine.”
I grunted.
Rowen held on to me while he navigated the long drive that circled around a fountain at Sloan’s mansion. He parked close to the front door, but before I could get out, he stopped me.
“Ye did good in a shite situation,” he murmured, digging his fingers into my hair. He got a cute, dopey look as he fluffed the strands out. Apparently, Vail wasn’t the only one who liked to play with it.
“Yeah?”
He nodded. “I trust ye to have me back.”
The same feeling I got when I won a fight surged through my chest, and I leaned forward to kiss him. Rowen sucked on my bottom lip and cupped my jaw. Sparks settled in my stomach and caught fire, and it didn’t seem to matter that I was tired as fuck because my dick poked at my pants, and I wanted to get it out and have a party with Rowen right here.
He pulled back and popped a kiss on my cheek, then frowned at the other cars parked nearby.
“There’s a lot of extra people here right now,” he murmured. “S’pose that makes sense.”
“Let’s go find Vail.” All at once, I wanted to see him more than anything. “Let’s make sure Conall’s all right, too.”
“Good thinking,” he said, but rather than rush out of the SUV, he tugged me close and kissed me again.
